Shrink to Fit

2012-01-22T22:50:00.003-06:00

I've made many attempts at losing weight over the past few ~~decades~~ years. I've lost some, gained it back, lost it again, etc., etc. As a result, I have a lot of different sizes of clothes that I've ~~refused to give up~~ hung on to in the event that 1. I'd lose weight and be able to wear the smaller sizes again, or 2. gain it back and nothing would fit. And since clothes are expensive, especially plus size clothes, I just kept everything and rotated them from the current size closet to the not-current size bins in the garage.

This weekend I decided it's time to change my hoarding of clothes. There will be no gaining weight back for me this time. And if I believe that (and I do) there is no reason to hang on to the clothes that are now ~~huge~~ too big. I spent this weekend going through my closet and the bins in the garage and did I have fun! It was like playing dress up. I had some clothes that I'd forgotten about and they fit me now! And...look good. Standing in front of a mirror hasn't been fun for me in years. I avoided mirrors except to put on my make-up. But, this weekend, I liked looking in the mirror and feeling proud of myself. I feel like a confident woman. Corny, huh?

My mom gave me a few Chico's jackets and I love them. I bought a pair of boots the other day to wear with a skirt that I've had - that's right, a skirt! I've been wearing pants forever because I didn't like how I looked in dresses or skirts. I don't really have any heels but I guess I'll be looking for a pair soon :)

My word for this year is change and change is happening in lots of areas. Not just my size or my attitude about food and exercise. Change is happening at work and I have to believe that it's all good. A few months back, I asked God to help me change my life. I have tried to do it alone and never seemed to make any real progress. So, I prayed for Him to change me and change some other areas in my life. One of which was the situation at work with the co-worker that I've had to fill-in for because she's never there. Well, last week, we found out she won't be back. Which is no surprise, except that I'm glad it's finally permanent and that management is looking to hire someone and re-vamp her job, mine, and another co-workers to make the work-flow more even. I'm excited to see what is to come. I know that God is working on me and I put my faith in Him.

Oh, and I'm still getting up every morning to do the elliptical and in the afternoon, too. And Sydney gets her walk everyday. All this activity feels fantastic!

Have a great week and take care.

Celebrate!

2012-01-14T12:32:00.000-06:00

This was overall, a good week. I went to the doctor. Not a big deal to some of you, but I tend to avoid going. One of my goals this year is to be better at meeting my regular doctor visits. So while I was there, I scheduled a mammo (since my last one was in 2006 *gasp* I didn't know it had been that long, sheesh) so that is what's lined up for Tuesday next week. Anyway, my lab results came in and I felt like shouting the good news from here to Alaska. Most improved was my blood sugar and my HDL. My HDL had been 29 in October and is now at 38! My total cholesterol and triglycerides were good. Blood pressure was good and EKG was very good. Exercise is paying off in more ways than one, for sure.

Aside from the good lab results, here's another cause for celebration this week - for the first time in probably 25 years, I weigh under two hundred! Woo Hoo! I'm in that place often referred to as "one-derland." I didn't think I'd ever want to call it that, but it has a nice sound to it now that it applies to me, lol. I'm not that far into the one-hundreds, but 198 sounds so much better than 2-something. Change is happening!

Last but not least, my birthday is Sunday, January 15th (I share that day with Martin). I'll be 55. Wow. I don't feel older. Just better. I had wanted to do something outdoors, but kayaking for the first time in January might not be fun. We've had some very cold temps here lately and the water might be a bit too cold so I think I'll save that for Spring.

Lee wanted to see my entryway redo. So here is a picture.

It's clean and simple. I bought this little set from Home Depot and put it together myself. I love assembling things. In fact, last night I went to Ikea and got new chairs for the dining room and I'll be putting those together after some house cleaning today.

Link I'm loving: 7 Little Habits That Can Change Your Life, and How To Form Them

Have a great weekend!

Change

2012-01-07T23:01:00.002-06:00

I finally decided on my word for 2012. I was trying to come up with some poetic, fancy schmancy word but got tired of searching. So I spent some time thinking about what I want this year and what I really want is change. I want to change a lot of things. My thinking. My attitude. My life. Me.

That's a lot to change, isn't it? But I've already started changing how I view losing weight. I think I've finally figured out that it's really not about the just dieting. It's about how I feel about myself. And lately, I've been having this vision of myself as athletic. Now, ~~stop laughing~~ don't laugh, I don't mean athletic in the competitive sense, but athletic in the sense that being active is second nature. I want being active to become a habit like brushing my teeth. I want to be active and not just walking and biking. I want to get out, join in and participate! I've hidden behind my weight for so long and I'm ready to get back to the matter of living. A couple of goals I have in mind for this year are: kayaking, hiking, camping out, and whatever else I can get myself in to. I'm thinking of signing up for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer that will be here in Houston in April. Sounds like a fun, crazy, two day time. If anyone is planning on walking it, let me know.

It's one thing to talk about change. But if you change nothing, nothing will change. So, I listened to Mizfit about becoming a morning exerciser and Tuesday through Friday I got myself up early and did 10 minutes on the elliptical before going to work! Then when I got home from work, after taking Sydney for her walk, I did 15 minutes more. Monday, I just got up earlier than usual to get a feel for how much time I'd need to exercise and get ready for work. And the best part is...I liked it! Yay!

Change is hard. But change will happen when we make it happen.

Today (Saturday) I put together a new entryway table and two little lamps. I had looked around at my house over the holidays and realized that I haven't really cared about how things looked. Well, that's changing, too. Clearing clutter and getting rid of stuff I don't need has been a daily thing for me over the last couple of weeks. And it feels good.

Hope you are having a great weekend. Be good to yourself.

Hello 2012!

2012-01-01T12:57:00.000-06:00

Here it is, the first day of a brand new year. Twenty-twelve. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

All in all, last year went well. We had some losses - two pets. My son moved back for a short time so that I could help in the care of his dog, Colby. It was a trying time and finally, in the end, my son had to take him and have him put down (I hate that term, but can't think of any other way to say it). He took him by himself, that's how he rolls. He had that dog for 15 years. They were a great team and Colby will be missed for a very long time.

Colby

Our cat, Flower, also died last year. She was old and had always enjoyed living outdoors. She would only come in for a few minutes to get a little love and then be on her way. She was 17 years old. I still find myself looking for her when I drive up the driveway.

Flower

In September, I started using Medifast to get some weight off. I'd tried everything - low carb, southbeach, low-fat, low-cal, protein shakes. You name it, I think I tried it all. I just couldn't seem to get my head in the right place to seriously make a difference. Lots of yo-yoing. So, in my terms, I needed to do something drastic. A couple of women at work were going to a medifast clinic and losing weight regularly. I knew the clinic was too expensive for me but found out you could order it online. So, I ordered a couple of weeks worth. It was easy, I didn't have to think about what to eat. It is pre-measured, and portable. Now, 48 lbs later, I think I made the right choice. I'm moving more and feeling good about myself again. I'm learning that a gluten free diet is much better for me and that I don't have to eat large servings of food to be satisfied. This may not work for everyone, but it's what works for me. So, combined with what I've lost so far on Medifast and what I lost while struggling on my own the past couple of years, I've lost 83 pounds and counting!

I spent a lot of last year waiting. Waiting to do things "when I've lost more weight." Waiting for my son to get his stuff out of his old room. Waiting for my mother while she reads every label in the store while we are shopping. Waiting for co-workers to step up and do their own job. Waiting for death to come for our dear sweet dog and cat. Waiting...for a creative mood to strike.

Enough of the waiting, already. This year, and I don't have word for it yet, but there will be no more waiting. There will be living. Lots of living!

I wish you the best of all that makes you happy and bright in the new year! I hope blessings follow you everywhere you go. Thanks for being here and I hope we get to know each other even better this year.

say something nice

2011-12-28T12:13:00.000-06:00

Love this! Aren't people awesome?!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

2011-12-26T16:01:00.000-06:00

I know it's the day after Christmas, but I wanted to wish you all the merriest and happiest of holidays this year. Even if I don't post, I still read blogs and try to keep up with you all. Over the years, many of you have become like dear friends. Your support has meant so much to me, really.

I miss blogging sometimes. But, as I've said before, I would like to change the focus of my blog from weight-loss to something else, but I can't quite figure out what. I've lost 45 pounds since September and plan to continue losing until I get to a weight that feels right. My energy has improved and I feel like doing things again, for a change. So, for 2012, I'm hoping to get busy doing the things I've been wanting to do for years but allowed my weight to hold me back.

Anyway, I hope your holidays are good ones and that the new year brings you more love and happiness than you ever expected!

Checking In

2011-10-02T11:01:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post. I've been reading blogs, but haven't felt inspired to write a word on my own. I'm focused right now on really, seriously losing weight and sometimes when I talk about it, I trip myself up. That may sound strange, but I think I get over-confident and that leads to thinking that I can slack off and give myself carte blanche, then I get off my plan and can't find my way back.

My plan is working for me and I've lost a good amount of weight, so far. I'm feeling good and I think that has to do with the fact that much of what I'm eating is gluten free. If you haven't tried a gluten-less diet, do as Anne suggests and just give it a try. I know what you're thinking, you can't imagine ever giving up the stuff you love. But if it improves your health, you can always find something else that you love just as much. Really, you can live without whole grain bread if it means feeling great :-)

Things have been rocking along here in my corner of the world. Work has been stressful again because the co-worker that out for two months in April and May has been out for two weeks with some mysterious "low blood oxygen" with no known cause and I've had to do her job again. This is beginning to be a real pain in the arse. The invalid dog, still lives on. When we take him out we have to use a harness on his front part and a lift strap on his hind legs. It makes for kind of an awkward way to walk a dog, but it works. The other day I was bringing him back in and tripped over the dog bed which sent him flying and I landed on the hairy dog bed! Yuk! After making sure the dog was alive, I laughed so hard I could hardly pick myself up off the bed.

Got a new toy to try and help motivate myself to move more. BodyMedia FIT had a special running for one of their armbands and I just couldn't pass it up. I wore for a week to see how active I am on a daily basis and it was pretty interesting to see how many steps I take and calories I burn. When I get to exercising regularly, I think this will help me see if I need to step it up. The only complaint I have with it is, the part that touches your skin is metal and I'm very allergic to some metals. My arm got a little red and warm while wearing the first few days but I moved it every few hours and that seemed to help. Oh, and of course right after I buy mine at the huge discount, they come out with a new model that's smaller and lighter. Oh well, I am a technology geek and this is helping me see what areas need work. Like sleep, I need more of it.

We're having fall-like weather today. Well, at least this morning it's cool with a little breeze blowing and the sun shining. A welcome break from the hot weather we've had for months. I think a bike ride is just what I need today.

Have an awesome week!

Loving it

2011-09-05T22:01:00.000-05:00

I made it through my third day of Medifast and I feel pretty good. I was really hungry the first day but drank lots of water to fill in the gaps. Yesterday and today I've been mildly hungry and forgot to eat one of the meals *gasp* Imagine, me missing a meal, haha.

Anyway, today I went out for dinner and had grilled chicken and some spinach. I was a little nervous about going out so soon after starting my new plan, but I was in control and made good choices. It was nice having a 3-day weekend to have a chance to eat on plan at home for a few days before doing this at work. There are several people at work doing Medifast (MF) and they keep a single serving blender at work. I bought a Magic Bullet yesterday and think I will take it tomorrow. I made the soft serve tonight with it and it was awesome.

It's a three day week for me at work this week as I have to go out of town Friday and return Saturday night. I will take my MF meals with me and make good choices when I'm faced with eating out. I'm determined to make this work - no matter what.

We had a touch of fall in the air today. Yay! Well, let's just say it was cooler than it has been in months.

Have a great week. Make good choices! Oh, and don't forget to drink your water!

Motivation

2011-09-04T11:44:00.000-05:00

I haven't been blogging much because I haven't felt very successful at my diet. I know that dieting isn't the "be all, end all" but when you are very overweight, it kinda occupies your every thought. At least, it occupies my every thought. I'm so tired of losing a few pounds only to gain them right back. Thinking about what to eat, what not to eat just makes me want to eat. I don't want to give up and I won't give up, but it's time to try something different. So, I ordered Medifast and started yesterday!

I'm really excited about the simplicity of it. I just choose which five (yes, five) of their meals I want to have for the day and then I have a "Lean & Green" meal once a day. I'm mostly having shakes and bars but they also have these awesome Parmesan Puffs that I love. I have been reading the boards over at the Medifast website and checking out what works and what doesn't. So far, I'm very encouraged that I've made the right choice for right now. I once thought that doing a weightloss program like this was too unrealistic, but I'm desperate to lose this weight and aside from weightloss surgery (which worked for Janell), this looks to be doable.

I'm still working on setting some goals. One I know for sure is kayaking some time next year. And blogging more. I know it helps me to stay accountable.

Take care. Have a safe and happy Labor Day.

Closed and Protected

2011-08-04T23:01:00.000-05:00

That's how I've been living my life these days. It's safer. There is no risk of rejection. No chance of being hurt. It's a lonely place to be.

I've spent a lot of time trying to lose weight. I know all about dieting. I know what foods to eat, what foods to avoid. I know that exercise is key. But even when I lose a few pounds, I still feel like I'm in the "swampland of the soul." That's a phrase from The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW. I just got my copy and can't wait to get into it. I'm hoping to learn how live a wholehearted life.

It's time to stop trying to be everything to everyone. I need to stop looking for acceptance from others. I'm tired of trying to change myself to "fit in." I want to be enough and believe it. This may be a long journey, but I feel like it's going to be worth it.

Photo: taken in Venice a few years ago

Veg'd out

2011-08-01T17:46:00.000-05:00

I've been veg'd out on my vacation. It could also classify as lazy, but that has such a negative tone to it that I prefer to say I'm veg'd out. It's hotter than blue blazes here in Houston and sweating seems to be all there is to do. Not really, I could find something to do I guess, but lying around, reading, and watching movies seems to be high on my list these days. I was so stressed the last part of the school year that I think I'm still putting myself back together.

I got a new dvd, Heavyweight Yoga 2: Change the Image of Yoga. I've watched some of it to see if it's something I really can do. And just from watching a little of it, I felt more relaxed and calm. The people that are doing yoga on this dvd are all sizes, ages, and abilities. I tried going to a yoga class at the Y last year and felt like an elephant compared to all the tiny (and very young) people in the class. Needless to say, I could hardly do any of the poses and the instructor wasn't very interested in helping me. So, I told myself "when I'm thinner, I'll do yoga." Well, this dvd shows me that I can do yoga with the body I have now!

For so many years, I've told myself that "when I'm thinner" phrase. Honestly, I'm tired of waiting. My life is surely passing me by and I am sick and tired of not having a life. I am making a plan of attack to get back on track to losing. Low carb is my plan of choice, but I am going to try The Belly Fat Cure for a few weeks. This plan is very restrictive on sugar and carbs but giving up all carbs in the past has proven too restrictive for me.

I'm working on posting some goals, too. I think that is something I need to help me stay committed.

Anyway, hope you are keeping cool and hydrated!

ps Here is a video of Abby Lentz showing how to sprinkle some yoga into your day even if you are in a hotel.

Wallow, then move on.

2011-07-27T18:23:00.000-05:00

I haven't had a lot to say these days, and so I haven't posted in awhile. Well, I take that back, I have had things to say, but much of it might come off as whining. Now that I've taken some time to wallow in it, I think I can move on.

A few weeks ago I discovered that sitting in an ill fitting chair can really screw up your back. I worked with summer school at the beginning of summer so I wasn't in my office and instead of taking my own chair to sit in, I sat in what was available. Bad idea. At least it was a bad idea for someone like me who has a bad back and I'm over 50. The chair threw something out of whack and for a couple of weeks I walked like a crooked old man. I noticed after the first day of sitting in the "other" chair that I was feeling some stiffness, but me being the ~~mule-headed idiot~~ stubborn person that I am, was determined to ignore that this could lead to a total back blowout. So, after a week of denial, I stayed home for two days in severe pain.

Then, my son needed to go out of town and asked me to care for his dog. What timing, huh? This dog is old and pretty much an invalid. He can't walk on his own anymore. We have to use a lift harness on his back end and lift him off the bed to take him outside to go potty. Thankfully, he has control over his bowel and bladder as long as we take him out regularly. He weighs about 30 lbs which doesn't seem like much, but he can't sit up on his own and just feels so heavy. He is a wonderful, sweet old dog. We've had him for about 14 years and he's still there, if you know what I mean. We've had the talk about putting him down, but it's so hard when he looks up in recognition and wags his tail. Some days I think we need to do it for him, but usually it feels like we need to do it for us. I hate facing this kind of thing.

I haven't been taking care of myself lately. I've been eating too much sugar and exercise is just a random thought that crosses my mind occasionally. My body is paying me back, too. I feel like an old woman riddled with aches and pains and lethargy. This year I haven't felt in control of my life and it's showing up in how I treat myself. I've been scanning the internet looking for some nugget of wisdom to help me turn this boat around and I read this article. It has helped me realize this:

"Self discipline is doing something even if you hate it or don’t feel like doing it. Doing something because you enjoy doing it is NOT discipline. "

I'm on vacation this week and I'm reading, relaxing and talking myself into taking back control of my life. Not much of a vacation for most, but it's low-key and that's what I need for right now.

I know I haven't been very active in blogging lately, but I hope I still have a few blogging friends out there. It makes such a difference for me when we connect.

It was a marvelous night...

2011-06-15T23:56:00.000-05:00

For a moondance. A brilliant night for a lunar eclipse. Even if we couldn't see it from where we are this year!

It's Over

2011-06-04T12:53:00.000-05:00

School is over, that is. I'm done doing my co-workers job. I'm just hoping she comes back this fall and is ready to go. While I enjoyed getting to know the students a little better this year, I am looking forward to only doing my job.

We ended the school year with a dinner at the Downtown Aquarium. It was nice to get together with faculty and staff and their families in a different atmosphere. Everyone was relaxed and enjoyed themselves. I snapped this photo while riding the ferris wheel. Since it was right at sunset, the view was just beautiful.

I've been gone so long, I doubt that I have any readers out there. I've missed reading blogs and blogging. I hope to get back in the swing of things now that summer is here and our hours are shorter. I've missed the daily contact with all my bloggie friends.

Food has been steadily getting back to pure low-carb. I haven't been out on the bike in months and I really do ~~need~~ want to get back to some regular riding. I'm thinking of signing up to do the Tour de Pink (again) on September 18th. The only hitch is I may be in Dallas that weekend for a planning meeting.

Have a great weekend and take care.

All work and no play - boring!

2011-04-30T19:56:00.000-05:00

Wow. It's been like forever since I posted here! Life has been all work and no play for weeks now (6, to be exact, thanks for the reminder Janell!) Before spring break, as I mentioned in my last post, a co-worker had surgery and I was asked to take on her duties. Well, I'd filled in for her before, but filling in and doing someone else's job daily for weeks is a completely different deal.

The first two weeks I honestly thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. Such long hours and so much stress. I had my own work and then her job, which is attendance secretary. Let me tell you, I hate that job. It's a whirlwind of chaos with kids coming and going and it never stops. Of course, the overtime has been nice. One pay period my overtime came to almost the same amount as my regular pay. But all this work has left me frazzled and tired and I've been sick for a couple of weeks now. I'll be so glad when school is out.

While handling Job 2, I was trying to finish the planning for the trip to Albuquerque with 60 students and 10 adults. Usually, I look forward to planning these trips, but this time it was more complicated because we wanted to do some sight-seeing in the area, including Santa Fe. I was really looking forward to this trip and after I'd seen some of Albuquerque back in September of last year, I couldn't wait to get to Santa Fe.

So, April 6th, we boarded our plane and except for a few lost tickets (before we even boarded), everything was going smoothly. We got there and I picked up the rental car, the buses took the students to their first stop and I followed in the car. One student was not feeling well, so for an hour or so, I sat on the bus with her while everyone else toured the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center. One of the teachers came to relieve me so I could make a quick razoo through. Then, they headed over the Old Town and the Albuquerque Museum of History and Art. I'd already been there, so I headed to the hotel to get us checked in and get room keys. I met the adults later for dinner, then we went to the hotel.

The next two days were spent at the festival which was held at Albuquerque Academy. A lovely school with the most beautiful campus I've ever seen at a school for 6th through 12th grade students. I wish I lived there. To work there would be ideal. The kids were having a great time. I spent a lot of time stuck in the homeroom watching over everyone's stuff. Then Friday afternoon, a student began to complain that she was feeling ill. She said she threw up and felt achy and just lousy. This is one of the reasons I always get a rental car, just in case someone gets sick, we can go to a clinic or to the hotel. So, off we went to the hotel. I got her some stomach meds and Sprite and crackers hoping that would help her feel better.

Saturday morning everyone was getting ready to go to Santa Fe. I went to breakfast and found out that the sick student was still sick. I put someone else in charge of the buses and stayed behind with the patient. I was more than disappointed. I really wanted to cry like a baby. This was the one single thing I had looked forward to all school year and now I wasn't going to get to go.

Anyway, the kids bought me a beautiful pendant made by local craftsmen and the photography teacher gave me a few prints from a couple of the students. The prints mean more to me than anything.

Whew. Long post, huh? I've been so tired that the thought of trying to put together a post that made any sense gave me more stress. And, I feel like my life is so boring right now that I have nothing to say. I read a blog or two and realize that I really do lead a boring life. I haven't even been reading my books lately. I just come home, eat dinner, veg in front of the TV for an hour and then go to bed. I hate it and while I know it's not forever, it feels like it's forever. And, see, I didn't want to go on like this is a pity-party-post, but it kinda sounds like it.

Not riding my bike, eating sugary/starchy stuff, and being stressed has me feeling crappy and cranky. Come.on.May 27th! School will be out and I can do my own job for a change. I have to get back in the healthy groove soon.

I want to thank those of you that have been checking on me. You all are just the best!

Have a good weekend!

Spring Breakin'

2011-03-17T11:34:00.000-05:00

I've been off work this week for spring break. Just enjoying being off work. Riding my bike most everyday. Taking Sydney for walks and doing a few DIY things around the house. I think I'm going to get some flowers today for the yard. We have been having the most perfect weather.

On the diet front, things are moving along pretty good. I've lost 14 lbs since January 18th (the day I decided to get back to low carbing). And, while some days I still have a few too many carbs, the next day I cut back so it seems to be working. As long as I stay active I believe the scale will keep moving in the right direction.

Next week at work, I'll be doing the work of two people for about six to eight weeks. (A co-worker is having surgery and will be out.) Going in at 6am and leaving...whenever I get most of it done. I may even be working a few Saturdays. I am looking forward to the overtime (cha-ching) and I'll be too busy to snack, but I'm worried about being too tired to ride in the evenings. And getting to bed early for me will be a stretch. I'm a night owl, so going to bed before 10pm is unheard of in this house. Add to this the fact that we are being moved into temporary buildings this week while we are all off, and you can see the stress meter rising.

I have noticed something lately. Since I've been eating less carbs, I don't feel out of control around food. Well, that's not saying I'm not tempted. But I feel in control. That's what's important.

I hope you are having a great week.

Somewhere, out there.

2011-03-07T18:57:00.000-06:00

I'm trying desperately not to stress-eat. I feel like I have no control over my little corner of the world. And you'd think that since I can control what I eat, that I'd be good with that. But for some reason, I just want to dive into crap food and eat, eat, eat.

Bosses are making decisions, co-workers are making situations, and someone put too much crap down the disposal (at my house) and now I need a plumber.

I feel the call of the wild and I just might have to answer. I went for a bike ride, and that felt good. The only problem is I ended up back at home. Wish I could ride away. Far away.

Keepin' On

2011-03-04T06:00:00.000-06:00

Just a quick note to say hello and hope your week was a good one. I've been moving right along with the plan to stay low carb and low cal. The weather has been so perfect, except for a few windy days, so I've been on my bike every day this week. The number on the scale is slowly moving in the right direction. Not as fast as I'd like, but I am aware daily and I will keep doing what works and scrap what doesn't.

Have a good weekend!

Happy Friday!

2011-02-25T02:14:00.001-06:00

Hooray for unexpected days off! Thursday morning, at 5:30 a.m., I got a message from the school that we had a massive power outage and they would send an update if we were to come in later in the day. Well, the update said "no school today due to no power on campus." Woo Hoo! Can you tell I'm trying to tone down my excitement?! True, I'll be a little behind on some things, but I work well under pressure :).

A note about the power outage - we are having some construction work done on campus and I'm pretty sure that has played a part in our outage. The building that I'm in now will be torn down and a nice new one will take it's place. During Spring break, we'll be moved from our offices into some temporary buildings and they'll start on tearing down the old to make way for the new. We're all excited and yet a little apprehensive. And, my co-worker that I've been filling in for (a lot) is having back surgery right after we come back from break. I feel the stress pulling my shoulders up already but the bike riding is helping me keep it in perspective. I can't control the changes but I can control how it affects me. I'm just going to keep calm and carry on.

So, Thursday morning, with the threat of rain in the afternoon, I went for my bike ride. It was a little cloudy and very windy. I worked up a good sweat fighting the wind. Then I took Sydney for a walk. I've been taking her for a walk after I get back from riding. She needs a lifestyle change, too. I took her to the vet last week (that's her in the picture buckled up for safety) for a check up and some shots and was told she needed to lose a few pounds. She loves going for walks and it motivates me to get out there and walk more so it's a win-win thing. I'm planning on repeating the ride and walk today, too.

It never did really rain yesterday, except for a few sprinkles but I'm glad I got my ride in early. I've been doing good with my food. I'm still doing low carb, but I've had to count my calories and watch my portions. I tend to think that since it's low carb that I can have as much as I want. Hah. What was I thinking? I'm also logging what I eat, which I don't like because I get a little obsessive, but I MUST be strict with myself for a while until it becomes habit again.

So glad it's Friday and I am so happy to have the day off. Hope you have an awesome weekend!

Hope Restored - Thanks!

2011-02-23T05:00:00.003-06:00

Let me first say thank you for the wonderful support I received yesterday after my depressing post. It meant so much to me. Seriously, it helped me more than you can imagine. I began to feel better immediately after reading your comments. Hope restored.

When I got home yesterday, I took the dogs out and then put some air in my tires and went for a short ride. I hadn't been on the bike since January 7th so I took it slow and easy. When I got home, I felt great. Riding seems to be the best exercise for getting me out of the dumps. And what great spring weather we're having down here! It's awesome.

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for being there. I'm taking the advice you shared to heart and focus on one meal at a time, pick myself up and dust myself off and get back on the wagon, think positive, give up "dieting" for lifestyle changes, and know that this too shall pass.

Wagons, ho!

Losing Hope

2011-02-22T13:17:00.000-06:00

That's not what I expected of myself, but that seems to be where I am with my weightloss. I've been trying to stick with my diet for a few weeks now and lately I just can't do it. I'm very upset with myself, too. I'm going on a trip in April and had hoped to lose twenty pounds by then. Now, I'd be surprised if I lose five.

I know it's all about what you put into it that counts. I always feel like I'm ready to give it 100%. Then, out of the blue, I just cave in and eat stuff. I'm beginning to feel like I'll never be able to stick to a diet again. I've been dieting since my teens. All the time, year after year, my thoughts are about what I can and cannot eat. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my inability to lose weight.

Sorry, this post is down and out. I'm depressed about it and feeling hopeless. I feel fatter than I've ever felt before. Maybe it's just time to give up. I don't even feel like blogging anymore.

Happy Valentines Day!

2011-02-14T06:00:00.003-06:00

I hope your day is happy, happy, happy!

Snow Day - sans snow

2011-02-04T15:20:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, we were all abuzz here in Houston about the possibility of 1 to 3 inches of snow falling on our beloved city. The decision was made at school Thursday that we would be closed today. That made everyone happy! (Doesn't take much) I woke up at 6:30 this morning, looked out the window and saw...nothing...no snow. What a let down.

All we got was a lot of ice. Black ice (not to be confused with the once abundant black gold in these here parts) all over the roads, freeways, driveways, etc. So many accidents reported around town. Some fatal. Its too dangerous out there people. Stay home if you can.

My mom decided to make vegetable soup last night. I was excited about it at first, then found out what was in it - cream style corn, white potatoes, carrots. Normally I'd be okay with that, but since I'm doing low carb, I was a little upset. I kept it to myself though and ate a bowl. It was really good, too. I didn't have any cornbread with it, but I know it was still a lot of carbs.

I'm going to clean house today and get it over with. I usually clean on Saturday, but tomorrow is supposed to be in the low 50's and sunny. Hoorah. Now I just need to stop munching. This cold weather makes me hungry.

Hope you're keeping warm and toasty and safe.

It's Good to be Queen

2011-01-31T23:31:00.000-06:00

Comment Queen, that is. Whatever, it's good to be Queen of anything, eh?

Blog Award!! From Anne H at Carb Tripper!

Thanks, Anne!

This is a new award created by this lovely blogger:

Shannon at A Fat Wife's Journey to Fabulous

(A Lap-Band Story)

Here's how to play:

List 5 goals that you have/had while on your lap band journey*.

Comment on each blog you nominate and list your top 3 nominees for the award.

(*well, since I don't have lap-band, I'll just call it a weight-loss journey)

1. Think, eat, and live like a thin person. This whole weight-loss thing is all about lifestyle changes.

2. I used to want to be able to wear heels again. Now, I just want to be thin enough that my feet don't hurt. Then, any shoe that fits will be perfect.

3. Ride my bike on a long distance ride. Adventure Cycling has some great routes.

4. Fit in an airplane seat with room to spare. Flying right now is not enjoyable. I feel like I take up way too much space and forget going to the bathroom on the plane. It's just confirmation of how big my butt is.

5. Enjoy having my picture taken. Usually, I avoid being in a picture. When I was young and thin I never appreciated my looks. Now, when I look at old pictures, I could just kick myself for not realizing I was okay. Not fat at all.

Number one is really the key to all the others. I've tried for so many years to lose weight. I've lost and gained and lost and gained. I really want to put "dieting" to rest and get on with my life.

One thing I can say about dieting and blogging is that if I didn't have my blogging friends, I would probably have given up a long time ago. Right about the time I'm feeling like a failure, someone leaves a comment that brightens my day. What a great community of givers you all are. You are awesome!

Now, for this award, I have to pick three bloggers to pass it along to. It's really hard to pick only a few, but here goes:

1. Kimberly at The Woman Inside Me
2. Tamzin at One Inch at a Time
3. Kelly at Happy Texans

Here I am staying up late again. Now I've cut into my reading time, dang it. Anyway, have a great day and stay warm!

Not changing, for now.

2011-01-26T23:54:00.000-06:00

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts on the new title I was considering. For now, I've decided to stay with Shrink to Fit.

New Blog Title ?

2011-01-26T12:15:00.002-06:00

I'm thinking of changing the title of my blog to "She Craves." (see it up there?) What do you think?

I still want to "shrink." But I want my "craves" to be less about food and more about what gives me joy.

I don't know, already I'm not sure if I'll miss my old title too much.

In Control

2011-01-24T18:59:00.000-06:00

Last week I began to eat very low carb. I thought it would be really hard since I'd been practically mainlining sugar for a couple of months, but not so. I started on Tuesday and by Thursday, I felt in control. Now, I'm not saying that I'm totally rehabbed, but I can look a muffin in the eye and walk on by.

As a result of the low carbbing, I've lost 6 lbs. Woo Hoo! And I do feel better already.

On my drive home today from work, I had this thought: I want to set myself free and throw my hands in the air and twirl! Well, maybe not twirl literally, but who knows? All this weight feels like a ships anchor wrapped around me, holding me down. I'm sick of that feeling. I want to twirl. Anyway, it sounds weird, but I get it. I think I finally get it.

We haven't heard anymore critters in the attic so we must have only had one raccoon. The wildlife wrangler came today to check the trap and he said it looks like nothing has been up there. Later this week they will patch up the screens that were missing and that should be the end of critters in the attic.

Have a great week.

Caught!

2011-01-19T22:55:00.000-06:00

Just a quick post as it's late and I'm already behind on sleep. This little guy got caught in the trap that the wildlife wrangler dude put in my attic a week ago. I'd heard a lot of movement up there which drives Sydney crazy and then I get no sleep. So Tuesday wrangler dude came out and put some sardines in the trap since, clearly, the nuts were not of interest to this critter.

Around 3:30 am I heard a lot of commotion and noise and that sent Sydney (the Brave) into a frenzy. I went up the attic stairs and was eye to eye with a raccoon. He kinda snorted at me and huffed and puffed and was cute as can be. I stayed up and then went to work, called the wrangler dude and he met me at the house to pick up the critter and take him to a better place. We have another trap set in case there is mate. I just hope if they were a couple, they end up back together.

I'm low-carbing it this week and while visions of bread and sugary things are dancing around in my head, I feel strongly that I can say no to the white stuff and mean it.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Feeling Empty (nested)

2011-01-17T19:11:00.000-06:00

You know you're getting older when your birthday comes and goes and it feels like just another day. My son (who recently moved out) didn't remember to ask for Saturday off so he wasn't able to come by. I know he's young (26) and that he's busy with multiple jobs and school, but I have to say my feelings were a little hurt.

I sulked a bit this weekend then realized it might actually be my fault that he didn't think it was important to me that he be here on my birthday. I tend to act like it's "no big deal" and that we don't really need to make a fuss over it. And while I don't want it to be some big organized shindig, I do want to see his happy little face as often as possible. I'm taking a tip from Roxie and realizing that in this life we sometimes need to ask for what we want. If I wanted to make sure he was a part of my birthday celebration, I should have told him "plan on being there." To me, it goes without saying that if it's your mom's birthday - be there. But in this new day of texting and having too much on your plate, scheduling is important. So next year I will be letting him know - in advance - what my birthday plans are and that he's part of them.

So, I had a good cry and now I'm okay (sort of). But this separation from my one and only has affected me more than I expected. Being a mom has been my ~~one true thing~~ joy. For me, 2011 is about living life and finding new joy. I just didn't think there would be crying involved so early in the year.

It's My Birthday :)

2011-01-15T16:34:00.000-06:00

Everybody eat cake!! Unless you're doing low-carb :)

Wild Kingdom

2011-01-14T14:21:00.000-06:00

When I was a kid I never missed an episode of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins. Does any one remember him? My love of animals began with him, I think. Anyway, it's been feeling a bit like wild kingdom here at my house. More bumps in the night and a few squeals during the wee hours of the morning have made getting a full nights rest rather challenging. So, I called in a wildlife wrangler (actually a pest control guy, but the other term sounds more exciting).

I told him I saw a raccoon on the telephone pole a few nights ago and after he looked around he confirmed that we do have raccoon activity in the attic and around the house. He specializes in catch and release so he put a cage in the attic. Now we wait and see what we catch. The little buggers will be released somewhere north of Houston in a nice location with water nearby and lots of trees. I hope we get them soon.

The picture isn't great, but here's the little critter on the telephone pole.

Here's his/her little footprint.

Of course, the reason they've been able to get into my attic is because I have procrastinated about getting the screens replaced in the soffits and my attic has become grand central for anything wearing fur. The wildlife wrangler will begin to replace the rotted screen with something more durable as soon as we catch a couple of critters. Then when the attic is free of the little varmints, all the soffits will be neatly covered and they will no longer be able to get in. Yay!

Now that we are two weeks into the new year, it seems I've hit a few speed bumps in my intentions for 2011. I wanted to start doing more with my life besides working and sitting at home. But living with my mom has it's own circumstances and I don't always have control. She fell last week and had a terrible wound on her leg that became infected. The antibiotics (two rounds) are working but she's had to be off her feet (which is difficult for her since she's a mover and a shaker) and so I've had to be close by to help her more. Which is fine, I'm glad I'm available. Then she fell again Wednesday and it took us 25 minutes to get her up. Of course after we assessed that nothing was broken, we got tickled and laughed for about 5 minutes at the situation. Still, I'm worried that something like this could happen when I'm not here. I think we need one of those things you wear around your neck for times when someone has ~~(help me, I've)~~ fallen and can't get up. Sorry, but humor is how we get through somethings in this family. I'm thankful we can laugh :)

I've tried to be low-carb, but haven't really succeeded in keeping it low enough to make a difference. Now, tomorrow is my birthday and I'll probably go out to eat and will just eat whatever I want because, again, I have no control over the days events. My mom's friend hasn't made in town yet, but miraculously he will be here tomorrow. I think she planned it that way thinking I'd be excited about his being here for my birthday. I mentioned this to her (that he'd be here on my birthday) and she got all freaked out that I wasn't exactly keen on it. (don't be jealous of him, she said) Really, jealous has nothing to do with it. It's just that it's my birthday. Maybe I'm being selfish or anti-social. Or maybe this is part of the "doing more with my life" thing and I'm just uncomfortable with it. Oh, well. It will be a good day regardless, as long as no one falls down.

Have a great weekend. Don't procrastinate on the big things in life.

Getting Going

2011-01-06T20:57:00.000-06:00

Getting back in the swing of things this week has had its ups and downs. Monday night there was some kind of hanky-panky going on in my attic. Tuesday I found a hole in the screen where they must have gotten access to their love nest. I'm thinking it was possums. I find them in the garage eating the cats food sometimes. Anyway, Sydney was so excited about the commotion so all during the night she would whimper and cry and bark. Needless to say, Tuesday at work I was pretty wall-eyed. I haven't heard anything else from the little varmints so I hope they're gone. (please just let me hold on to that thought)

It is nice to be back to work. The regular routine of things is beginning to set in and it's nice to have lunch provided. I just stick to the salad bar and get whatever lean protein they have over in the line for hot food. One of the perks of working at a school (and this is not your public school food).

Went for a bike ride Wednesday and Thursday. Let me just say that my legs and hind-end are in shock. I should have never let two months go by without riding. My first ride was only 5.5 miles and it felt like I was hauling a trailer around the neighborhood. I have gained 5 lbs since Thanksgiving, but geez, that shouldn't make that much of a difference. I think it's just that fitness flies the coop much faster when you're middle aged ~~crazy~~.

My mom has a friend coming to visit next week from out of the country. That means I get to clean like a mad-woman this weekend ~~and try to be cordial next week~~. Actually, it will be fun to see him again. I guess I just resent that it means more work for me.

Still working on my "intentions for 2011" list. It's been fun pondering things and getting my mind around doing something strictly for me. One thing for sure that I'll do is go to the museum once a month. It's free on Thursdays. I do like free. I've also been thinking about a new name for my blog. I like the name, but this year is not just about shrinking. It's about actually living.

Have a great Friday and weekend! Don't forget to drink your water and get some rest.

Making Plans for 2011

2011-01-03T22:10:00.002-06:00

Thank you all for the wonderful comments/compliments on my new 'do. It was so nice of you and it made me feel great! I'm still adjusting to the newness of it. I washed it and it seemed to fluff up a lot. I used the blow drier with the diffuser attachment but I think next time I'll let it air dry. It may just be that I need to train it and it needs to train me, lol.

Today (Monday) was the first day back to work after a two week break. Sunday night I could not get to sleep. While I was off work I stayed up very late (which I love) so going to bed at 10pm seemed like punishment. I am going to work on making getting to bed early a habit this year. Since I'm older, not getting enough sleep is much harder on me. And, if I go to bed earlier that means less chance of late night snacking! Yay!

I keep trying to make a profound post on what my plans are for this year. Apparently, my attention span is somewhat like that of a gnat lately so thinking about this has my mind in a twist. I know my goal for this year is to continue to shape my life around a more fit lifestyle. Losing weight and becoming more active is the key combination to get that goal met. But another goal I have for this year is simply to find joy. I feel like I'm wasting a lot of time just doing what is expected of me: going to work, taking care of responsibilities, being there for others. I need some "me" time and for some reason that is a difficult concept for me.

So, I'm working on a list of things like: take an art class or photography class, take a dance class, go the the museum once a month, go see a movie (by myself), etc. I need to get out of this rut I've made for myself. Already, I feel ~~anxious~~ excited about it.

For years now I have told myself that when I lose all my weight, then I'll get out there and do things. Well, life is passing me by and who knows, maybe if I get out there more, I will be more motivated to get the weight off.

No more excuses. Make things happen.

Have a wonderful day!

New Year - New 'Do

2011-01-02T13:50:00.004-06:00

I know I've mentioned before that I've been growing my hair to donate to Locks of Love. I started letting it grow about a year and a half ago and last Thursday I decided it was long enough. It was getting to be a hassle to take care of and my style was reduced to one look: a ponytail twisted up in the back and held firm with my hair-thingy from 1970, lol.

I mean, I love long hair, but letting it all be one length (for donation purposes) wasn't all that flattering on my 50+ face.

When I was a kiddo, I had very straight hair. My mom wasn't pleased with it and so began the years of perms and curlers, etc. I was a tender-headed tot and so it was always a tearful event. I think that's why, even to this day, I feel the drama coming on when I need a haircut.

A little hair history!

Me with a perm. I don't believe it was my first either!

And more curls! Long and short versions.

Then, as I got older, no more perms.

(Then there was the whole "blonde bombshell" era. But that will have to be another day!)

Anyway, back to the new 'do. So, I went to get my haircut on Thursday. The first salon I went to, the stylist barely spoke English and had never heard of Locks of Love. Now, I know they don't need to do anything special about cutting my hair except that it needs to be at least 10" in length and cut in a ponytail. But I got too nervous trying to explain this to someone who didn't understand me...so I left. On to salon #2. It was a Supercuts, they said they don't do cuts for Locks of Love at that location. What? It's a haircut for crying out loud. So, they referred me to the Supercuts that I used to go to and that made me happy. I got there, the stylist was awesome! Her name is Afelia (probably not spelling it correctly) and she knew exactly what to do. It was kind of a neat connection, too. Her nephew is going through chemo right now and that gave us something to talk about. She divided up my hair into four ponytails and a few snips later, it was all done.

Here's the before:

Here's the after:

And here's what's going to Locks of Love:

I think this is the shortest my hair has ever been. It's an adjustment, but I think I really like it. Very easy to style, just scrunch and go! And it was for a very good cause, so that makes it worth it.

The rest of today will be spent planning for the week. I'm going back to low carb. It's what works and I am ready to focus on getting myself healthy this year. I'm working on my list of goals for this year. A big goal is to be more creative. Get the pencils to the paper, so to speak.

Hope your Sunday is a just what you need. It's sunny here today in H-town and cool and crisp! Perfect.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T15:51:00.002-06:00

Last night my son came over. That sounds so weird (he recently got his own apartment) but it's fun to say, too. I made King Ranch Chicken and Outrageous Chocolate Cookies. We had a nice time watching the ball drop in NYC and then watching Houston's own first celebration down at Discovery Green. We don't like to get out on New Year's Eve so staying home is kind of a tradition.

Hope you had a safe New Year's Eve and I wish you all the happiness you can stand in the new year.

Love and best wishes,
Tena

Happy Wednesday and belated Merry Christmas!

2010-12-29T02:10:00.000-06:00

I hope you had a great holiday. I've been off work since Dec. 20th and wouldn't you know, I've been sick every day since. I've had some kind of cold-flu-like-crud and just since Monday, have felt like I'm getting over it. We had a nice Christmas. Very quiet and I was fine as long as I had my box of tissues handy.

Being sick during this time of year has saved me some calories. I haven't eaten as many of the goodies that are lurking everywhere. I usually make cookies, but not this year. Didn't make spinach dip to eat with sour dough. And guess what? We all survived.

I have been doing my Reverb10 - only mentally. I didn't feel like writing it all down but I like how the prompts have got me thinking. Less about my weight and more about living the life I want to live.

My son moved out this month. His very own first apartment! It's been exciting to get him all set up. I put together some kitchen stuff and bought him some new towels and odds and ends. He's doing it all himself, while still juggling three jobs and school, but it was time. He needed to get his own place. A place of his own. I'm so proud of him. Of course, a lot of his stuff is still here. His time is limited and I'll probably have to get a small storage space for the things that don't fit at his place. It's a very small garage apartment, but it's cute and perfect for him.

My birthday will be here in a couple of weeks. It kind of gets to me sometimes. I thought I'd have done more with my life by now, but we get out of life what we put into it, right? It's time to put more into it! Easy to say. Now I just need the courage to begin.

I hope you have a great rest of the week and a safe, happy new year! Thanks for your friendships. I love this blogging community.

Well, not exactly & Reverb10 Day 9

2010-12-11T02:40:00.002-06:00

This week was better than last week. The co-worker with the ill-planned medical procedure is doing better and has returned to pull her load. My other co-worker can't let it go and told the other woman maybe she should take a leave of absence if this is going to be an ongoing thing. This kind of unsportmanship behavior really gets to me. I have a job. I go to work everyday with the intent to do my best - whatever the situation or case may be. That doesn't mean I might not get pissed if I feel taken advantage of, but I will do my work and be darned cheery about it (while I'm there).

Anyway, on to Reverb10, Day 9 (yes, I'm behind but I'm working on it)

December 9 – Party

Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)

Well, sad to say, there weren't any parties in 2010 that I had the pleasure of attending. So, I'm stretching the definition of party to "gathering" and going with my trip to Albuquerque in September. The first night we were there, we attended a meet-n-greet with other independent school faculty and staff at El Pinto Restaurant. The purpose of the trip was to see the host school and sit in on a planning meeting for an upcoming arts festival. I was excited just to be in New Mexico and it was fun to be there with a lot of people I knew from Houston and from past arts festivals. Our group was outside and the weather was fantastic. The tables were festive and the Margarita's were perfect. I got my first taste of New Mexican food and it's nothing like TexMex. They use green and red chili's but they are not the same green chili's we have here in Texas. You can learn more about their peppers here - if you're interested. Apparently, chili's are great for your diet, too. All the more reason to spice things up!

There were some pesky mosquitoes at the restuarant and those suckers were big. I thought Texas cornered the market on those blood-suckers but I was wrong. Ouch.

The rest of the weekend was spent getting to know Albuquerque. I love that place! I think I mostly love seeing the mountains all around. Oh, and the freeway was a lovely terracotta color with turquoise trim. I didn't get a good picture when I was there (it's hard to take pictures when your driving, go figure) but here is a great shot at Getty Images.

Hope you are having a great weekend. Are you getting in the holiday spirit? I'm working on it :)

A day late...

2010-12-09T22:00:00.001-06:00

I really do want to start posting in the mornings. By the time I get around to writing a post, it's almost tomorrow. I tried writing my words down on paper during the day yesterday (Wednesday) to get a head start, but it's been so long since I actually wrote with a pen that my thoughts just didn't flow. Then, last night I struggled with my answer to the Dec. 8th prompt (Reverb10). I'm not very comfortable with thinking about myself as "beautiful." It sounds conceited. But this is an exercise to help manifest what's next and I'm ready for that.

December 8 - Beautifully Different

Prompt - Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

I thought about this all day. What makes me different? Maybe it's the fact that I have long brown hair with only a smidge of grey. Not very many women my age (a-hem, 53) don't color their hair. (I'm growing mine to donate to Locks of Love and I'm really getting ready for a haircut, lol). But I think the qualities of our character are what makes us different, or beautifully different. These qualities that are a direct result of the lives we've lived and the people we've loved. Some of those qualities are born out of happiness and some are born out of grief. And, our character is constantly evolving which is a good thing.

Now, on to some of the ways that I think I am different: I'm detailed and observant and see details that many people overlook. I notice the design of things, but not in a critical way. I like to find better ways to get something done and like being efficient. I'm a listener and keeper of private things. When you tell me something is "just between us" it stays that way. I take no pleasure in gossip. I thrive on honesty, but have trouble trusting others. Go figure.

I can't imagine what I might do that "lights up people" but I try always to be gracious. I try to be courteous, thoughtful, and kind. I was raised that way and it pretty much stuck.

I'm excited about participating in Reverb10. I got a late start in this challenge and now I'm another day behind...so I think I'll try and catch up this weekend. I'm feeling a shift in my thinking already. Yesterday I went for a walk and it felt great. Not like someone was holding a gun to my head to get out there.

If you found my blog from Reverb10, welcome! And thanks for stopping by. I look forward to learning and growing from this awesome event.

Not the sum total.

2010-12-07T22:33:00.001-06:00

I need to take the focus off food and dieting. Lately, I've felt that dieting is the sum total of my life. There is so much more to me than weighing and measuring food and hoping to wear a smaller size by x amount of time. So, I'm signing up for a writing challenge over at Reverb10.

"Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. Use the end of your year as an opportunity to reflect on what's happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead."

I like the daily prompts, like today's prompt is:

December 7 – Community

Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I have discovered a wonderful community online of bloggers. They are more than bloggers to me. They are friends. People that genuinely care about others. They take the time to leave a comment of support when they "see" a need. They share their life and sometimes they even share their things (love those giveaways!). I'm glad I joined this community of bloggers and look forward to "meeting" more in 2011.

In the last year, I've drifted away from my church. Not my faith, it never waivers. But I do miss the community of believers, sometimes. My soul seeks the strength that comes from faith shared.

In 2011, I want to be a more active member of my community. In words, in actions, and in efforts.

It goes on.

2010-12-04T23:27:00.001-06:00

Some days, I don't want to put on the happy face. No one can make me happy but me, I know that. I simply don't know how to anymore. I think I'm stressed out and tired of my life, or lack of one.

Work has not been ideal. A co-worker has been absent for something she elected to do. Not cosmetic surgery, but something she's known she wanted to have done for awhile now. She's off during the summer and you would think that she would have done it during her time off. But that's when she and her husband choose to travel to exotic places. So, doing her work and mine has me stressed out. I've been angry over it and of course I take my anger out on myself. And I don't dare complain. I need my job and I like MY job. It's just that I always seem to be doing her job and mine.

I tried to get a diet plan in the works. Every time I look at a diet menu, I get pissed off. I used to be really good at getting my mind prepared for eating less, but lately, it just pisses me off. I'm burned out. I'm pissed (have I said that enough times?). I'm afraid I'm giving up on myself. Maybe I need some antidepressants. Or a shot of tequila. The candy I've been eating just isn't doing for me anymore.

Sorry, my posting has been almost non-existent and then I share this. It goes on...life that is.

Resilience

2010-11-26T18:56:00.000-06:00

Last Saturday, my mom was fine one minute, and very sick the next. She was throwing up and then had the other thing that sometimes follows throwing up. I'm not going to say it here, but I'm sure you can figure it out. Then on Sunday, things got worse. As you know, I don't like talking about poop, but she was having some bleeding along with the other issue. I called her doctor and was told we should take her to the ER. She was seen right away, but it took hours before they could get her in a room. The ER doctor said she needed a colonoscopy, and depending on what the outcome of that was she might need other tests.

So, Sunday night she had to drink the GoLytely stuff, 8 oz every 10 minutes until the gallon or so of the crap is gone. Right, getting her to drink it and getting her up and down to "go" was about the most ~~disgusting~~ fun I've had in years. I haven't had a colonoscopy yet, (I know, it's past time, ugh) but going through this (again) with her does not make this appeal to me in the least. As a matter of fact, I don't think I'll ever have one. Nope. People lived for years without having to go through this humiliation. (Please, just let me have this moment. I will have one...someday.)

She had this same thing a few years ago, ischemic colitis. Apparently, pretty common in older folks. The doctor said her colon looked fine other than this flare up. He prescribed an antibiotic and sent her home. What a relief it was knowing 1) she would be good as new soon, and 2) her colonoscopy is done.

For Thanksgiving this year, we decided to take things easy. Dropped off the turkey at Hickory Pit Bar-B-Que to get smoked, picked up some sides and dressing from Luby's and I cooked some green beans a-la skillet style. Everything was delish and we have limited leftovers and hardly any time was spent in the kitchen.

I didn't get the week off that I had planned, but it's all good. Mom and I laughed till our sides hurt during her prep at the hospital. And we both were resilient this week :)

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'm happy to have you here and wish you the best. I'm going to watch Eat Pray Love tonight and swoon over Javier ;)

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-24T17:38:00.001-06:00

Thanksgiving Day is a day

for our thoughts to

be on what is most

important.

Love, family, friendships,
peace, health.

I pray that you have

a wonderful day of thanksgiving

and more blessings than

you can count.

I'm thankful for so much...

today and everyday.

Mindless Eating

2010-11-05T23:29:00.001-05:00

We are supposed to practice mindful eating not mindless eating, but this week my stress level was up pretty high. I had to fill in for the Head Master's assistant while she's out having knee surgery. My executive skills are a bit rusty so I was a bit tense around the shoulders (you know, the shoulders in the ears trick?). Then a woman in my own department had to have some weird neck surgery today so she was out and handling her job along with filling in for the Head's assistant has made me a nervous wreck. On the inside. No one sees that I'm nervous. They all think I'm calm, cool, and in control.

Night before last I dropped my tripod on my toe. The one next to my big toe. Hurt so bad I almost cried. I don't cry easy any more, so let's just say it hurt ~~like a mother~~ really, really bad. The day before that I got a fever blister on my lip. Haven't had one of those in about a year. Stress? Um-hum. Last night I went to bed at 8:30pm. A new record for me. And when the alarm went off at 5:45am, I felt like I could sleep another hour or two.

Tomorrow morning I have to help my mom with a craft sale. She got this brilliant idea to make jewelry and sell it. Of course, I'm getting roped into helping her...this time. If she has more of these, I explained to her that I'm not that interested in making this a regular Saturday event. She understands. I'm just worried about myself and my inability to say no. It's a simple word, but I have a lot of trouble saying it.

I think I might have to bow out of the challenge. I've not really been into keeping track of calories or passing on dessert. Might be BS, but this week will have to go down as a royal waste of time. Better luck next week.

Now that I've whined about stuff (and read over what I just wrote) let me take a moment to say what I'm thankful for:

1. I'm thankful that people at work have faith in me to do whatever is asked.
2. I'm thankful the tripod didn't hit my big toe :)
3. I'm thankful that my mom is still trying to be a participant in life.
4. I'm thankful for blogger friends.
5. I'm thankful for second chances.

I hope you have a great weekend. Take care of yourself.

Reel it in.

2010-11-02T18:53:00.001-05:00

Last week, I joined with lots of folks to do Allan's Double Dog Dare You Challenge. In all my excitement to try something new I seem to have forgotten what I'm trying to achieve here. I counted calories, check. I drank my water, check. I ate sensibly, no, not so much. I ate things that were really higher in fat and sugars than I know my body needs. And as a result, over the weekend I kinda indulged in too many treats. My calories per day were more than they should have been. I have to get a grip or these two weeks will be a total loss. And not a weight loss, if you know what I mean.

I'm a little frustrated with myself. I have to stop eating things like chips and stick with real food. It's just been so long since I let myself eat chips that I went a little overboard. Time to reel it back in and make better food choices. I know what to eat. And here's where I tell it like it is...I just wanted to eat junk.

No more BS.

I have a clicker! and DDDY Challenge Update

2010-10-28T22:56:00.001-05:00

I know most of you have been keylessly opening car doors for-like-ever, but for me it's about the most exciting thing to happen since...getting power windows :) I took my CR-V to Honda yesterday to get my locks fixed. Turns out that to replace the locks in the doors and re-key the ignition, after parts and labor it would have cost me just under $600!!! Whaaaaa? So, I asked them about installing keyless entry. The price for keyless was about half of what getting new locks cost. I couldn't believe my ears. A couple of years ago I had asked them how much going keyless was and it was like $400+. Anyway, they had to order the part, which came in today so I went back and got it installed. I now have a clicker. All afternoon I locked and unlocked. Silly, I know, but I'm thrilled! I love my CR-V and now I love her even more.

Food today got a little on the high side, carb-wise, but still came in okay for calories. Inquiring minds want to know what I'm eating, so Tamzin, here's what I had today:

Coffee with creamer - 35 cals
Raisin Bran cereal - 110 cals
2% milk, half cup - 60 cals
peanuts - 105 cals
Turkey/provolone sandwich on wheat/rye
with mayo, lettuce, tomatoes 400 cals
bag of chips (I know) - 200
grapes - 60 cals
3 York patties - 150 cals
popcorn @ Honda - 55 cals
Tyson Brisket - 140 cals
carrots - 30 cals
Steamfresh roasted potatoes - 140 cals
slice of sour dough bread - 110
ginger snaps - 140 cals

Todays grand total: 1735

Something I'm noticing about not restricting certain foods is...I feel in control. I am striving to make healthier choices, but just knowing that as long as what I eat fits into my daily total, I don't get all down on myself. Usually, I'm so busy thinking about what I can't have that I don't think about what I can have. Cool.

Hope you have an awesome day. Drink your water!!

Wanna burn more calories?

2010-10-26T19:09:00.000-05:00

Get mad. I was pretty ticked about something today so to take care of all that anger I got out the vacuum cleaner when I got home from work and went to town. I think I hit an all time record for fastest vacuuming on a Tuesday night! That had to burn up some calories. I'm calming down now ~~sorta kinda no not really~~, but still need to figure out how to deal with what's bugging me. Ah, well, on to other things.

I felt a bit tempted today to cheat and ate 3 York Peppermint Patties (for 150 cals-they were the little ones). I added those calories in to my total so I wouldn't go over. I'm not even hungry for dinner (I think it's still the anger issue) so I'm going to focus on drinking my water and getting to bed at a decent hour. I don't ever - and I mean ever - willingly go to bed. It's a real habit of mine - avoiding sleep. Then once I'm finally in bed and it's dark and cool and relaxing, I'm glad to be there. Weird, I know.

I'm taking my car in to the dealership tomorrow. I don't have keyless entry and for the last month my key won't open the driver side door. I've been opening the passenger side and using a cane (my late uncle's old cane), I reach over and flip the lock up so the doors will unlock. I'm sure it's hilarious to watch ;) Anyhoo, now the passenger side door is acting up and I refuse to crawl in through the back (it's a CR-V). So, bright and early I'll be there to see what this little item is gonna cost. I wish I'd gotten keyless entry, but 7 years ago when I bought my little cutie, I was so excited to get a new car that I didn't even think about it.

Hope you are drinking your water and tallying those calories!

Weigh-In for Allan's Double Dog Dare You Challenge

2010-10-25T18:08:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day of Allen's Double Dog Dare You Challenge! I'm excited about having a plan to get me started again.

Current weight: 252.8

Goal (for now): 170

My calories for the day (each and every day): 1870

Wow! That's a lot of calories! Yay! Nom.Nom.

Thanks, Allan, for the motivation to get back at it. So far today, I've done great with my food and water. And, I found a cool App for my iPhone called DailyBurn. I love me some healthy apps. I have the free version right now. I may be interested in the paid version if I need more help with workouts.

If you want to check out Allan's challenge you can find it here.

I'm taking Allen's Challenge!

2010-10-24T23:38:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Tamzin, I found Allen's challenge! It's just what I need to get me back on track. Surely, I can commit to two weeks!

It all seems totally do-able, too. Here are the rules if you want to join in:

CHALLENGE RULES

YOUR DAILY CALORIC INTAKE IS YOUR GOAL WEIGHT X 11
EVERYTHING YOU INGEST COUNTS AND NEEDS TO BE RECORDED
YOU DRINK 64 OUNCES OF WATER DAILY
NO CHEATING AND NO BULLSHIT
2 WEEKS, STARTING 10/25/2010
WEIGH IN MONDAY MORNING AND WEIGH IN 11/8/2010

It's about...healthy.

2010-10-21T19:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday at work, we had our health screening. Our insurance company offers to waive the $100 pharmacy deductible if we do the screening which amounts to your basic finger-stick and then a little machine tells you if you're healthy or not. They also measure your weight and your waist and tell you what THAT means in regards to what kind of risk you might be. I like doing this every year because it kind of gives you a chance to see that it's time to ~~shit or get off the pot~~ get back on track.

Some of my numbers improved, some not so much. Cholesterol was 196, HDL 39, Triglycerides 179, LDL 121, and blood sugar 97 (fasting). I don't know if the numbers improved because I was more active this year or if it's because I've been eating whatever I want. Last year I had been dieting strictly and I was 15 lbs lighter but my HDL and LDL were really bad. I'm sure it's because I've been more active. I'm just glad that my blood sugar is still in the normal range.

I think I've been a boring blog lately. I'm sorry for that. It looks like a couple of "followers" have split and that makes me a little sad. I know that shouldn't bother me, but when I blogged often, I looked forward to the comments. It's nice to have that input and I miss it. I read a lot of blogs and I don't always comment either. I will try to work that.

Janell, thanks for reminding me to not give up on healthy. That is what it's really all about, isn't it?

Chasing Pirates

2010-10-16T23:01:00.000-05:00

This week I was going to stop blogging. I've been eating as if we were having threat of famine. Stuffing myself, actually. And I don't even know why. I wanted to eat and so I did. Now, of course, I'm wishing I hadn't stuffed myself for days. I don't want to get on the scale...don't need to...my pants feel tighter already.

I wanted to try to have a go at food like normal people. So, I tried having a sandwich with chips. Then I had to have cookie. Then I had mac and cheese (the really good, rich kind). The next day I was out of control. I thought about food all day. I stopped by the store and bought candy and stashed it so I could eat it while no one was looking. Obviously, I still can't be trusted with food.

This dieting thing just gets to me sometimes but I'm not giving up. That's my claim to fame.

Sunday Snapshots - Albuquerque!

2010-10-03T12:19:00.000-05:00

Here are a few pictures from my visit to Albuquerque. I could SO live there.

More pics can be seen here.

Happy Sunday!

How do I make peace with food?

2010-10-02T00:07:00.000-05:00

I haven't had much to say lately. Which is not really all that odd. I'm really very reserved. All my life I've been told I'm shy but I don't really think of myself as being shy. I think I'm just not a talker. You know, some people always know just what to say. Not me. {cue crickets}

Anyway, I've been soul searching this week. That sounds better than saying I'm having a pity party, don't ya think? I've been dieting for so long that I'm sick of it. I mean, I've literally been dieting for about 25 years now and I'm still fat. There have been days (and weeks/months) where I didn't restrict myself. But those periods only led to weight gain. Then, I shame myself back to restricting myself to lose what I gained. It's this viscous cycle of diet, lose some, stall, get depressed, eat everything, feel bad, go on yet another diet. This week I didn't feel like putting myself through the usual beating. "Eat this, don't eat that!" "Why aren't you out riding?" "Really? You think you should be eating that?" So, I ate with abandon. And now I feel like I've gained about ten pounds, Who's sorry now?

I'm not to be trusted with food. When I don't restrict myself, I eat too much. I know this. I don't have to be reminded by anyone that I can eat a lot of food when it's on my plate. And there's my mom taking inventory of how much food I have on my plate. She makes little comments about how much food some people can eat at one time. She takes four bites of something and says she's full. Of course, every time she goes to her room for something, she comes out chewing. (She has a stash of candy in there.) I sound angry, don't I? Well, I guess I am. I need to make peace with food. I just don't know what that means.

I know what to eat. I know all about exercise. I could be a nutritionist, really. All that doesn't help me to stay on the straight and narrow. For my health, I need to lose weight. For my health, I need to be active. But for my heart, I need something else. I need to find the right carrot on a stick to get me on track.

Last weekend I was in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Had a wonderful time. It's so pretty there and the weather was fantastic. I think I brought the good weather back with me, too. It's been cooler and drier here in Houston this week. The week before I left, I did the usual "starve to lose a few before a big trip" thing. I lost a pound or two. The same pound or two that I've been losing and gaining for the past few months. That's when it started, the overwhelming frustration. I'm so sick of this constant dieting. And yet I really do want to be thinner. (This sounds like a crazy woman's rant now.)

I'm not giving up. I'm just going to have to go at this a different way. I just have to figure out what that way is.

Sunday Snapshots - late summer color.

2010-09-12T12:42:00.000-05:00

Hope you're having a great day!

Rainy Day = Cool Day

2010-09-06T14:46:00.002-05:00

It's raining like crazy today in Houston. I'm off today for Labor Day so I don't care if it rains all day. At least, it is a nice break from the heat.

I've been busy learning my new job duties. Still at the same place, just new position. It's okay. Miss my window SO MUCH. I feel like I'm in a vault. But they'll be tearing down the building I'm in now sometime around April and then we'll all be housed in some little temporary buildings...won't that ~~suck big-time~~ be fun? The new building is going to be so nice it makes all this worth it. Hey, we have to focus on the positive stuff, ya know.

One of the perks of my job is that I get to travel for a planning meeting every September and then take some students on a trip every April. This school year the trip will be to Albuquerque, NM! I'm so excited!! I've never been there and we hope to take the students to Sante Fe for a little culture. The new Dean of Fine Arts and I will go to the planning meeting in a couple of weeks and while we're there we are going to take our own road trip to Sante Fe and check things out. I can't wait! So, if you've been to that area and have a fav spot, please tell me about it and any tips you might have.

I'm still struggling along with my diet. I seem to be stuck in that place where you lose a couple then gain them right back. Soooo, frustrating. Has anyone tried The Fat Flush Plan? I would like to bust through this plateau and drop of few pounds before my trip so I'm thinking about buying this book and give it a try.

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much. Thanks for sticking with me!

Have a great week :-)

Where's the duct tape?

2010-08-16T18:37:00.000-05:00

Seriously, where IS the duct tape? I need to put it over my mouth. I've made it through today doing South Beach. No sugar. No starch. But I'm feeling the pull and it's only 6:20 pm. I'll be going to bed early tonight if it gets too bad. I will not give in. Sugar will not tempt me. Sugar will not tempt me...

Tomorrow is the first day of school. The new freshmen will be roaming the halls and looking like scared rabbits. The seniors will be feeling freedom on the horizon and the rest of the kids will just be excited to be back. I love the first day of school. My new job has me more involved with the students and I like that. It's going to be a great year.

No ride today. It came a gully-washer, which was good enough to cool things down, but not good timing.

Take care and don't forget to watch out for school zones.

Mad Me

2010-08-15T17:12:00.001-05:00

Not Mad Men, (though I do watch that total awesomeness) mad me. I've been acting slightly mad these days. I've disgusted myself with the way I behave with food. I've consumed entire packages of processed crap. Lots of candy and anything else that's edible. I'm quite the binge artist. Not quite the "artist" title I've been hoping to launch on this here blog. But, I've taken note of it and honestly, I'm tired of eating. Hmmm. Have you ever said that before? I don't even want to get on the scale and I think I won't for the first week. I weighed myself last week and I'd gained back almost all of what I worked so hard to lose over the summer. Pathetic.

So, this week is all about flushing the madness. I'm going to go back to my low carb way of eating, a la, South Beach style, and I know the first two weeks are going to be rough. Coming down off all this sugar will be a b*tch, but I can do it. Hmph, I've done it a thousand times. Maybe something will click this time so I won't keep repeating this reckless behavior. I do care about myself. I do want to be a healthy individual. I do want to go kayaking...someday.

I made my veggie quiche cups (from the original SB book) and bought my string cheese. Being prepared is the most important thing for me. And now that we work from 7:30am to 4pm the day is long, long, long for a snacker like me. I'll be getting back to riding, too. Yep, it's hot out, but I sweat anyway so why not ride?

A few years ago I started knitting a sock. The other day I found it in my knitting projects bag (you know, every knitter has several unfinished objects going at one time :-)) and I'm working on finishing it. Gives me something to do with my hands besides stuff my face.

Hope you have a wonderful week. And don't forget to drink your water.

You know you're out of shape when...

2010-08-07T21:38:00.001-05:00

You throw your back out giving yourself a pedicure! That's what I did today. All was fine when I got up. Then I looked at my pitiful looking toes and went to work on making them pretty. I propped my foot up on the bathroom vanity and stayed that way while clipping, filing, polishing, etc. Then when I went to put my foot down on the floor...Crap, my back just froze up and I could hardly move. So today I've been laying around, sitting around, popping some pills and that's about it. Not exactly what I had planned.

I'm in a better frame of mind, though. Thanks to all who offered support. I appreciate this caring group so much. I've been thinking that I need to find some creative ways to spend my time. Maybe starting an art journal or a photo blog. Or I might change the name of this blog and just mix it up. Who knows. I just know I need to be creative. I used to draw and write a lot and I want to get back to it.

Hope you have a great weekend. Take care.

What can I say?

2010-08-01T19:39:00.001-05:00

eta: Sorry, this is kind of a downer post. Feel free to move on to another blog.

I don't even know what to say. I've been on vacation from work for the last two weeks and I seem to have checked out completely. I'm bored with focusing on losing weight. I'm depressed and blamed it on lack of carbs. It's so freakin' hot that just thinking of exercise makes me sweat. I'm drinking lots of coffee. Having lots of hot flashes. Nothing seems interesting. I've been reading blogs and wishing I was there.

I liked doing low carb, but I cut back my calories too much. I'm so sick of feeling like my whole life is about what I can't eat or what I should eat. I feel lonely and sad most days and it's my own fault. When you put up a wall, people tend to stay away. I'm not sure of anything any more.

Going back to work tomorrow will bring structure back to my day. Maybe I can get a grip. I do want to be healthy. I'm just tired of always feeling like I'll never there.

Something New

2010-07-10T14:03:00.001-05:00

Sometimes the routine of it all can get you down. So, today I decided to try something different. Here in the big city of Houston we have something called Urban Harvest Farmers Market which offers locally-produced veggies, fruits, and farm products. They are open every Saturday from 8am to noon, rain or shine.

I had such a great time and bought some good stuff. This will become a regular thing for me, for sure. Not only were there fruits and veggies, but there was fresh bread (which I avoided since I'm low-carbing it), local honey, a coffee bar, fresh juice, live music, and a restaurant preparing a recipe with local food for you to taste. If I'd brought more cash with me, I'd have spent it all!

Here's my loot!

Last week we had tons of rain. I got in a few bike rides and two weight training workouts. It looks like the scale doesn't want to move this week, bummer. I haven't been very hungry, which is a good thing, but I think I'm not eating enough calories. My hypothyroid-lack-o-metabolism-body just might be staging a coo. Whatever, I'll win in the end :)

Have a great weekend. Drink some water, 'k?

eta: sorry for the little pictures, I shot these with my iphone and sent them too small, me thinks ;)

Happy 4th, Ya'll!

2010-07-04T14:48:00.000-05:00

I hope you have a safe and happy 4th!

Filled with whatever makes you happy!

Rain? Meh.

2010-06-29T23:15:00.001-05:00

Why do older people have to talk about body functions and boo-boos? My mom (she's 76) is always talking about things I'd rather not hear about, like how many times she's pooped in a day or not pooped, whichever the case may be. Today she decided I needed to know about some bug bite or whatever, that she discovered and how she had to handle it (I'll spare you the details) and then wanted me to look at it. Gross. I thought after my son grew up I wouldn't have to look at any more boo-boos. Ah, well, she's a spark in the daily gases, what can I say!

Anyway, Tuesdays are my riding days and after I got home from work I took off. I knew there were clouds overhead, but they looked tame and lately they've been crying wolf...a lot. So, six miles into my ride, it starts to rain a little and I kept riding a bit. It's hard to see when rain spatters on your glasses, though, so I headed home. About the time I got home, I heard some thunder and saw a little lightening so that was that. Would you like to know it barely sprinkled at my house. But lightening is not something to play with, so I think I made the right choice even if my ride was cut short today.

I took my car to get it inspected today. I had already been told by the dealership that I needed some oxygen blah-blah-thingy and it would have to be replaced for it to pass the emissions test. I decided to get a second opinion and even though the diagnosis was the same, the price was better and I got a discount because a lot of people from work take their cars there. Awesome! Now my little bugger is all fixed up, sticker in place and the engine light is no longer on. Yay!

Training my replacement at work is going okay. I'm still nervous about my new position but I'm staying positive and only have a small crick in my neck :) Change is just so, so...unexpected sometimes.

Take care and don't forget to drink your water.

Monday Morning Quickie

2010-06-28T08:30:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post this morning since I've fiddled around this morning and only have a few minutes before I'm out the door. Last week I worked out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday on the weight machines and rode my bike on the days I didn't work out. I'm feeling a difference in my overall strength even though it's still early in this new phase of my plan. I see how strength training can become addictive. You feel strong and that's a good feeling.

I met Roxie for lunch at Fadi's on Saturday! I know you wish you'd been there. We had such a wonderful visit. She is as wonderful in person as she is on her blog. She has unknowingly been a sort of life coach to me over the last couple of years that I've been reading her blog Gravel and Rust. Roxie, I'm looking forward to going for a ride soon!

The low carb thing is still working for me. This week I lost 2 more pounds. While it's not falling off me, at least it's coming off. With it being so hot outside and my internal furnace keeping me hot ALL the time, why not go ahead and work it till ya sweat?!

Make it an awesome week and don't forget...drink your water!

Yep, it's Summer alright.

2010-06-21T23:17:00.001-05:00

Today is the first day of Summer. Really? I think in Texas, the first day of Summer is more like the whole month of June, not just one day. It's been hot. Very hot, for the last few days. I went for a ride last night and it was 91 degrees at 7:30pm. Still, it was a nice evening for a ride.

Saturday, I had some errands to run and while I was out I thought I'd stop at Smoothie King and get a low-carb smoothie. So, I go in and the guy greets me with a nice hello and can I help you. I tell him I'd like whatever he has that's low, low carb. Zip carb, to be exact. Well, Mr. Smartee Pants practically rolls his eyes and says "well the carbs you'll get from fruit are good carbs. Carbs your body needs." So, I said, but I don't want any carbs today, what can you make me? And again, he gives me attitude. Says "I can make you something with just powder and water but it won't taste as good as something else I have in mind." Really? So I said, guess you don't have what I want, so forget it. There was a look of shock on his innocent little face just before I turned to walk out. I mean, I knew what I wanted and he just wasn't interested in making it. I drink a plain vanilla protein shake every day and I Like It. Was Mr. Smartee Pants trying to impress me with his nutritional knowledge? Well, I was not impressed.

Saw this cute sign while out running errands. I love it!

Right after I left there, my mom called and wanted to go to Luby's (a cafeteria style place) so I headed over to meet her. I had some delicious roast turkey and some cabbage. After we ate, we went to a little place called tasti D lite. I'd never been and was feeling like I wanted a little treat. They offer a guilt-free frozen treat that range in calories from 70 to 100 with an average carb count of 12. It's a cute little place and the treat was just enough to satisfy. I had the maple flavor. Yumm.

The low carb thing is going great. I lost 2.2 lbs this week - Yay! Rode a total of 39 miles for the week and got in two workouts in the weight room. Finally, something has clicked and I'm determined to get fit and live well.

Make it a great week and don't forget to drink your water. Ride if you can.

Two Flats and Stupid Head Tricks

2010-06-19T13:08:00.000-05:00

Isn't it strange how when you get on board with something, stuff happens to try and knock you off track? Last week I began my ~~hard-butt~~ diligent quest for fitness by committing to working out at the school weight room and riding my bike (Nellie) for longer rides. Things went great Monday with strength training leaving me with noodle arms, but I didn't care.

Tuesday, I went for my ride and after 16 minutes I hear a loud HISS and realize my front tire is going flat as a pancake. This Tuesday happened to be heavy trash pickup in our neighborhood and there is always crap in the street. I looked down and saw a mine field of glass. C'mon people, heard of recycling that stuff?

So, I walked Nellie home and got Sydney and went for a walk. Determined to get in my exercise quota, I wasn't letting a flat stop me!

Wednesday, they decided to do some work on some pipes at the school. That meant there would be no a/c in the weight room after noon. Who cares, right? I mean you're gonna sweat anyway, eh? So, I go to work out and guess who is in there? The head of the school. He's an okay guy (sometimes) but I felt a little awkward, to say the least. But, whatever. I came to work out...and I did.

Thursday, I took my tire to the bike shop and got a new tube put in. The guy said there was a little chunk of tire missing, but it would probably last for awhile. Got home, put the tire back on Nellie, and we were off. Had a very nice ride (53 minutes) even though it was hot as blazes.

Friday, I decided to skip the strength training because I didn't want to work out with you-know-who. Apparently, he works out up there quite often. So, I went home to ride my bike. Rode for 44 minutes and then my front tire went flat - again. Crap. Double Crap. I knew I should have just bought a new friggin tire. Why do we not listen to that still, small, voice in us? Oh, and I've decided to work out regardless of who is in the weight room. I realize now that I deserve to be there just as much as anyone else.

So, here it is Saturday, and I'm going to the bike shop to get a new tire. I really need to learn how to change a flat myself. I'm going to go to one of the classes they offer so I can get some practice with someone who knows what they're doing. If you ride, and I know there are a lot of you now - Woo Hoo! be prepared! Don't get stranded far from home with a flat. I ride very close to home and the farthest I've had to walk my bike is a mile, but that was tough. You can carry and extra tube with you and they make very small hand pumps.

Now, on to the stupid head tricks. I signed up for Facebook (again) but I don't know that many people so it's really a waste for me. Anyway, I decided to look up my ex. Much to my despise, he's still alive and has a life. Why I've been thinking about a person who caused me so much pain and heartache, I don't know. It's been years since he left my life (and my son's life) and yet I can still let him make me feel like shit. Too, bad, there's not a way to wipe only the bad memories out of your head. Instead, I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday unless I write it down.

Have a good weekend. Be prepared. Don't dwell on the past. And, don't forget to drink your water. (sorry, Roxie, I'm kinda copying you today!)

Noodle Arms

2010-06-14T18:49:00.000-05:00

I have noodle arms. Much like noodle legs - only it's my arms. I can hardly type. So if there are any typos in this post, let me just apologize now :) I worked out on the weight machines today at the school. I had the weight room to myself which was nice - no one to hear me grunting and ~~crying~~ groaning. A friend at work wrote out for me which machines to do and the order to them, along with how much weight and how many reps. By my third round I could barely lift my arms. But I.don't.care. I'm ready for some serious physical exercise, and I mean it, lol.

I lost 3.4 lbs last week - Yay! The low carb thing is paying off. I'm not really tired. I do think I'm not eating enough because my calorie counts have been below range most days. I'm having trouble planning my meals. It's hard for me to just eat meat and small amounts of veggies. Which amounts to mostly lettuce. But one more week of this really low carb and then I'll add a few more veggies back in and see what happens.

My plan is to ride my bike 5 days this week and do the weights 3 days. It was hard - doing the machines - but this is something I need to do and I'm going to keep at it. The best part is it's not costing me a dime :)

Have a great week! And don't forget to drink your water!

It's The Low Carb Life For Me

2010-06-11T06:49:00.002-05:00

This week there have been no special events at home or work to cause me to eat off plan. I'm happy about that. I've been really good about logging my food in at myfitnesspal.com and I think that is helping keep me focused. And since I love to see other peoples food pics, I thought I'd post mine from yesterday.

Breakfast: Better-N-Eggs with a few slices of Hormel Turkey Pepperoni and a little Parmesan cheese.

Snack: Tuna salad (tuna in water, egg, mayo) and Pork Skins (I know, but I needed crunch)

Lots of this stuff! In my Tervis Tumbler :D

Lunch: Turkey (very lean) and veggies.

Dinner was tuna salad stuffed in a red bell pepper. Really good! So good, I ate it before taking a picture :)

Things at work are changing. They've decided to rearrange my job, which is fine, I guess. I'm getting rid of the freakin' calendar (yay) but moving from my pretty office with a big window, to an office with no window. I'll be more involved with students and parents (could be a plus or not). Overall, I'm sure it will be fine, but for now there's the stress of getting things done and learning new things. Hey, isn't that what keeps life interesting?

Keep drinking that water! Some of you are making me proud :D

Have a great weekend!

Partly Stormy

2010-06-08T18:49:00.001-05:00

We had a scary storm blow through today. It looked like night and then all of a sudden, rain came crashing down. The kids that were out on the field had to run for cover. Kids don't usually run to get out of the rain, but today it was a pelting rain and they couldn't get out of it fast enough.

I don't have much else to say today. Nothing that's of value, anyway.

Low Carb - Not Low Enough?

2010-06-06T10:34:00.000-05:00

This past week has been tough on me low-carb-wise. Lots of temptations for celebrations. I rode my bike twice to try to balance some of the extra carbs that I ate and all that I got from that was a sore backside. I've apparently pulled a muscle and now I'm walking like an 80 yr old woman (sorry, no offense to the elderly). I got on the scale this morning and I was up a couple of pounds. Maybe the sauerkraut and lite sausage had too much sodium? Whatever, 2 pounds? Oh, it's on now.

So, this week I'm going to try going even lower on my carbs. I've noticed in my food diary on MyFitnessPal that my calories have been much lower than the 1500 I'm supposed to have but my carbs have still been more than 30 most days. My body just doesn't want to give it up. I also think I need to do some strength exercise - I need more muscles!

Riding my bike twice in one week is not enough so I need to get out there and ride. We start our summer hours at work tomorrow - 9am-3pm!! That makes me extremely happy!! I want to ride in the morning - but if you know me and have been reading long, I'm not a morning person so that will be a stretch. We'll see.

Make it a good day and don't forget to drink your water.

'Salways Sumpthin'

2010-06-02T22:59:00.000-05:00

Isn't it funny how when you try to stick to your diet, all kinds of things seem to come along to knock you off your game. We had our end of school year party Tuesday night at the zoo. It was hot. I mean HOT. The thing started at 4 but I didn't get there until after 5pm. The food was what you'd expect - hot dogs and burgers, potato salad, beans, and booze (if you wanted it). I'm not much of a drinker these days and since I drove myself, I decided to stick with water. I ate no bun and no potato salad. It was so hot that eating was really not worth it.

After the fan fare, some of us walked around the zoo. Saw the brand spanking new baby elephant - Baylor! Soooo cute! It ran around (only 3 weeks old) playing like a 3 year old. I've never seen a baby elephant playing and running like that! The sweating was worth getting to watch it! I've got pictures that I'll post along with pictures of the giraffes and a cheetah. Too tired tonight :( Enjoy this for now:

Today at work we had our end of the year parents appreciation luncheon. Seriously, enough with the end-o-year stuff! We had BBQ from Goode Co. So dang good. I passed up the jalepeno bread but couldn't pass up the pecan pie. I knew I'd get home and ride my bike, and I did, so I don't feel too guilty. They have the best pecan pie, really.

The thing I'm finally learning about this diet thing is this - there's always going to be temptation - we just have to have a plan in place so when something comes along to try and knock us off our game, we execute the plan and move on. My plan today was choose one treat, exercise to minimize the damage, and for the rest of the day eat low carb. I did exactly that and I'm movin' on. But that's it for the rest of the week, heh.

Have a great day and take care! Are you drinking enough water?

Happy Memorial Day!

2010-05-31T16:25:00.000-05:00

Happy Memorial Day, ya'll! And to my favorite Canadians - Happy Monday :)

Being Texan, we are having brisket and beans and tater salad. I'm having coleslaw instead of tater salad because of the carbs and no bread. I've done well doing low carb and the scale showed it this morning - a loss of 7 pounds my first week! Woo Hoo! Yahoo!

We used to have big family gatherings on these holidays. But now, what with certain family members getting a hitch in their craw (is that a saying?) our gathering has gotten smaller and smaller each year. So the meat was bought from a great little BBQ place and the rest is home made. I'm hungry, too, so I'm off to munch.

Have a great week and don't forget to drink your water!

I can see clearly now.

2010-05-29T11:49:00.003-05:00

And it's not because the rain is gone, although it is gone and that was quite a storm that blew through here last night. I can see clearly now, but on Thursday I had a weird thing happen. I was at my computer at work, drinking my coffee, checking work emails and after a few minutes the center of my field of vision was gone. I blinked and blinked and told myself to calm down but I kinda freaked inside.

Anyway, to make a very long day short, the school nurse called my doctor, he said go the the ER, because who knows what this could be. A co-worker took me to the ER at 9:30am. Finally saw a physician at 11am. By this time, I told my friend to go back to work and I'd call when I needed to be picked up. The doc said everything looked good but wanted me to see an opthalmologist. So, I cross the street (by now my vision has cleared but my head hurts, I haven't had anything to eat or drink in hours and I'm feeling pretty crappy) sit through an exam with lots of lights and eye drops. Turns out I had an ocular migraine. Well, I'm thankful that's all it was. Normally, I don't run to the doctor because a) the insurance usually sticks me with more of the bill than I expect, and b) I just don't like going.

When my friend picked me up, I was getting the shakes from not having eaten. I needed something quick and fast so I got a chicken sub sandwich and ate it even though I was very nauseated. So, low carb didn't happen on Thursday but I did my best the rest of the day.

Thursday ended well, though. Some wrens built a nest in a lantern that I have hanging on my patio. We've been watching the mom and dad take care of their babies for a few weeks now and knew they would be leaving the nest any day. Well, Thursday afternoon was their big day. The two little cuties were learning to fly and we got to watch from our den window.

This is where they built their nest.

The nest inside

There's one of the little cuties (top left)

Sorry for the blurry pic, I turned off the flash so I wouldn't blind him/her.

They would hop up the wall and then fly to the ground. It was so cute!

I miss them already. I watched the parents working hard everyday, feeding and caring for their babies and cleaning the nest. It's very quiet now out there on the patio. *sniff*sniff* I think I have empty nest syndrome, lol.

My first week of 30 days of low carb eating has been great. I had a piece of cake yesterday because we had a going away party for a very good friend at work. The cake was homemade from scratch and the girl that makes them is an incredible cake baker. I don't usually care for store bought cakes, but I couldn't pass up a small piece of this cake. And after I ate it, I was okay with it, and the rest of the day was low carb all the way. I'm in control. Finally. (fingers crossed)

Hope you have a great holiday weekend. Drink lots of water and stay cool!

Staying with it.

2010-05-25T23:17:00.001-05:00

Day 2 of SOLO (Summer of LowCarb - cute, huh?) and I'm having no cravings for bread, sweets, or anything starchy. What a relief. I have a serious addiction to bread but when I don't eat it, I always notice that I feel better. My mind seems clearer. I stepped on the scale this morning (Tues.) and I've already lost a little. I know it's water (because I've been going potty, a lot) but that also happens when I don't eat bread.

I'm not in the habit of taking pictures of what I eat so most of what I ate today got gobbled up before I remembered to take pics. Here are the two I managed to take:

Fresh blackberries and Oikos Organic Greek Yogurt. My most fav thing :D

And here we have a hamburger, sans bun. I used big lettuce leaves as a bun. Messy, but good!

I'm logging my food at MyFitnessPal.com and it's really helping keep me on track. I'm also making sure to drink lots of water. Now, if I could just get myself to bed at a decent hour, lol.

Day 1 of The Summer of LowCarb

2010-05-24T23:24:00.000-05:00

It's day one of my 30 day locarb plan. I did good. I've added my food diary back over there on the left along with the number of pounds I've lost so far. Of course, at one point that little counter said 45 lbs lost, but that's all water under the bridge right now.

I'm not hungry and I feel like I'm in control. It really does help me to log everything I eat. My calorie count was a little low today, but I didn't get to exercise so the extra calories weren't needed. I ate small portions of fruit and veggies along with lots of lean protein. I really do know what to eat to lose weight. Why I get lazy about it, I'll never know.

A few years ago I did South Beach and one of my favorite treats was diet root beer with a little heavy cream or ff half & half. It tastes just like a root beer float! Sip it with a straw for the whole soda shop effect :D

Have a super Tuesday!

Fed Up

2010-05-23T19:52:00.000-05:00

That's what I am. Fed up with my whole zen attitude lately about dieting. Just relax and eat smaller portions, I'd tell myself. Eat a little of what ever you want and you'll be fine, I'd say. Well, how's that been working? Not good. Not good, at all. It's time to put on the brakes and set some real rules for myself. A rigid, hard core low-carb diet is what works best for me. I want to see some fast results, too, so low-carb it is.

I'm going to post what I eat (and maybe even pictures). I'm going to write everything down. I'm going to drink a lot of water. I'm going to do this. I'm sick and tired of carrying this weight around.

Does any one use the BodyBugg or GoWearFit? I've been thinking of getting one of those types of things to help with motivation. Let me know how yours works for you if you've got one.

Have a great week and don't forget to drink your water.

Books and Blogs and Staci's Giveaway!

2010-05-19T23:04:00.000-05:00

Not much to say today. I'm eating whatever with a side of everything. Reading The 30-Day Low-Carb Diet Solution and planning my menu for next week. Summer is here in H-town and I'm still nowhere near my goal. I'm also reading How Big Are The Pancakes? by Kathryn Krull and yearning to ride my bike off into the sunset. Someday.

Please stop by and give Anne H a big hug. She had a really tough day today (Wed.). I admire her strength and the work she does. It takes a special person to be a hospice nurse. Anne, I hope the rest of your week goes smooth as silk.

Also, if you have a chance, head over to Kelly's blog and wish her well. She's beginning her weightloss journey and could use a little motivation. Staci is spreading the word and having a giveaway of some super magazine subscriptions. Check out her giveaway here.

I was hoping to ride to work this week, but my heart is just not in it. I need a little motivation myself. Feeling apathetic about everything. Poor Nellie, she just waits by the door...patiently.

Gearing up for Bike to Work Week - May 17-21, 2010

2010-05-08T01:39:00.001-05:00

Love this! I'm planning on riding my bike to work at least once during Bike to Work Week. This celeb has some great reasons for riding and some very good tips, too. Enjoy!

One day down...

2010-05-03T23:13:00.000-05:00

Nine more to go for AP's. Today went better than I expected, as usual. I fill my head with all kinds of OCD hype and then even with a few bumps, the testing went well. The kids were great, the computer ate iTunes so a stand-in was brought in to handle the French Language CD. All in all, no problems. Tuesday is Spanish Language and 20+ kids but now that we've done French, we'll be fine. *fingers crossed* Statistics in the afternoon. Another long day. I got home today around 6pm and my day started at 7am.

Not enough water today. I KNOW. Imagine, me not drinking water?!! I have to plan for potty breaks and that means limiting fluid intake. My bladder is used to going whenever but since I have to rely on some one to come fill in while I go, I try not to have to go as often. Food was bare minimum - cheese, lettuce, & tomato on whole wheat with pineapple, strawberries, and kiwi for a late afternoon snack. No snacking, so that's a good thing. Too tired to ride today. Maybe Wednesday.

Thanks for the caring words yesterday. You guys always make it better! The real deal is what it's all about.

2010-05-02T22:24:00.000-05:00

Stressful week coming up. Proctoring AP tests at school, oh joy. Mood swings and depression are trying to set in. I'm feeling like I'm spinning my wheels and getting nowhere. I start something and then don't finish it. I read a blog post and start to leave a comment and then close the page. I can't seem to lose any weight and I don't feel like exercising or even riding my bike. This doesn't seem to be much of a blog these days.

Wordless Wednesday (captions only)

2010-04-28T18:28:00.000-05:00

Baby tomatoes!

Old, sweet dog.

Young, rascal dog.

Lovely ears.

Squirrels beware!

Happy Wednesday!

Music and a Treat

2010-04-26T23:08:00.000-05:00

I wrote a post yesterday and then deleted it. If you happened to read it, then you probably know why I got rid of it. I couldn't stand to read it myself. Somedays the gloomies take over but they never stay long.

I'm listening to an artist who is new to me, Allison Moorer. I just discovered her after buying her latest CD, Crows. My fav song on it right now is "Should I Be Concerned." If you go to her myspace page you can hear all of the songs on this cd. I love the mellow softness of her voice. And the words have meaning to me. I tried to get the song to play on my blog but couldn't figure out how to do it, darn it.

New treat I discovered - Luna protein Chocolate Cherry Almond. De-licious. Tastes just like chocolate covered cherries (my weakness) and they have 12 grams of protein with 3 grams of fiber. Not the best for low carb (21g) but still better than a candy bar if you need a sweet fix.

I rode my bike today and my mind cleared of the negative nonsense that had crawled in and taken up space. All better now. I just have to keep repeating that to myself.

Cool Weather

2010-04-20T23:33:00.000-05:00

Went for a nice bike ride today. We are having such nice, cool weather. It's hard to sit in the office all day. Work should be canceled due to great weather!

Yesterday, I had insulation installed in our attic. I think the original stuff was all that was up there - from '57. I hope it helps keep us cooler this summer. The a/c guy was here today for the seasonal check. It looks good so when the heat wave hits...we're ready.

I cooked last night and tonight. *gasp* I can cook, I just don't get the chance very often. My mom likes to cook but she's been sick for about a week now but is beginning to feel better. I made pan roasted brussel sprouts Monday night and tonight I cooked eggplant. I like just about anything fresh. She likes frozen veggies in a cheese sauce. I don't like the fake cheese sauce that comes in those frozen veggies, plain frozen is okay. I think veggies taste best with just a little olive oil and seasonings. But, to each his own. For now, it's veggies my way. Mom has issues with germs and she never thinks anyone is as clean as her. I just try to ignore her issues - they are not my problem, but they do create some anxiety sometimes.

Have a great day today and don't forget to drink your water.

Technology Slow Lane

2010-04-17T10:16:00.001-05:00

There's only one thing I hate more than slow weight loss - a slow computer. Mine has been slower than slow for a couple of weeks and my patience with it is done. A few weeks ago I downloaded Skype to help my mom figure out how to use it, and when I logged out and turned off my web cam the BIG BLUE SCREEN appeared...Gasp...Never a good thing as any Windows user knows. I tried everything - reboot, defrag, cleaned out temp files, scan, reboot, etc. Nothing made a difference. I'm using my mom's computer right now and today mine is going to the Geeks for a tune-up. I love technology, but the faster things get the more I have no patience with anything slow. It just sends me over the edge to have to sit and wait for two minutes for a page to load. I feel like I'm back to the old dial-up internet of the old days, lol.

While in Dallas the week before last, we had fantastic weather. A little cool and a little windy and I wished I could run off from my real reason for being there and visit fellow bloggers that are around that area. They all have bikes and it would be a hoot to someday go riding together - Roxie (I didn't even know you got a bike), Anne, and Shelley .

I've managed to lose 2 lbs in two weeks and this week was the only week that I really tried. In Dallas, as usual, when I'm away from home I eat poorly and too many carbs. But, I did better than I have in the past so I guess that's something.

Have a great weekend and don't forget to drink your water.

ETA: Back from the computer clinic and all is well. No virus, but waaaayyyy too many programs running in the background...sneaky little devils.

Going to Dallas

2010-04-07T23:46:00.000-05:00

I'll be in Dallas Thursday, Friday, and Saturday for an independent school arts festival. We are taking some of our students up to perform in choir, theatre, dance, and piano. Every year we participate and I'm the coordinator. At first I got the hebbie-gebbies at the very thought of planning a trip for 40+ students and 7 faculty (some years it more like 60+ students and 12 faculty), but this is my third year to plan it and I'm beginning to look forward to it. It's held at a different school every year and next year I'm very excited that it will be in Albuquerque, NM!! Can't wait!

Anyway, I've been mentally zapped so I haven't blogged for days. I have been trying to keep up with all of you. I hope things slow down at work soon, but it looks like I'll be crazy busy until the end of May.

Food has been decent. But when I ride my bike I'm so tired that after about 6 miles I just lose steam and head home. Of course, lack of sleep (my look at the time, it's close to midnight) probably keeps my energy level pretty low, too. I have always been against sleep :) but when I need it, I like it. A love-hate thing, I guess.

Have a great weekend. Pray for a safe trip (if you are the praying kind). And drink your water.

Attitude Adjustment - Check.

2010-03-25T23:33:00.000-05:00

I got some really great advice from some wonderful bloggers on my last post about dealing with my lack of confidence in my abilities. 1) Believe in myself. 2) Parent myself with the confidence I instilled in my son. 3) Take it one day at a time. I read those comments over and over and let the wisdom sink in. It's going to take some time, but I feel better already, so I thank you with all my heart.

I'm focusing on doing my best at work. I have faith that God is in control of my days and so I will tell myself that each morning - and let Him be in charge. That's a hard one.

Food this week has been excellent. I've cut back on my portions, cut out sugar (except for the 1/2 c. of low-fat frozen yogurt with sunflower sprinkles that I get at school at lunch), and enjoying lots of fruit and veggies. Yes, I'm enjoying them. It's amazing how good fruit tastes whent you cut out refined sugar ;)

I've been riding this week in this gorgeous Spring weather and taking Sydney for walks. She loves to go for walks, although, she'd like it if we ran! Here's some pictures of our walk today. I love tall grass and clover and Syd does, too.

Field of Clover

Sydney in the sun.

Happy Friday! Have a great weekend. Don't forget to drink your water.

Talk is Cheap

2010-03-22T23:29:00.000-05:00

I talk a good game in this diet war. I know all the right foods to eat. All the right moves to make. When I'm focused on the "prize" I can get there - well, almost there anyway. I can talk it UP about dieting. So, why do I let myself fall short of the goal? I'm sure the answer is some deep-seated, lack-o-confidence due to real life adventures of the adult kind.

All I know is, I'm looking for confidence. I only hope I can find it.

Today I ate well, took Sydney for a walk, and rode my bike for a couple of miles. My back is still hurting and limiting my movements but I'm determined to work it out.

At work I feel a change might be coming. It's that time of year for contract renewal and some people are leaving the school for greener pastures. That's all fine and good for them, but it may mean more duties for me. They seem to have a lot of confidence in my abilities. But for some reason I feel like I'm faking it everyday and one day they'll see that I'm really not as good at my job as they thought.

By the way, are you drinking your water?

Spring Break - Update

2010-03-21T18:58:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all for wishing me well with my back problem. I am better after two and half days of laying around and taking pain meds. Not how I wanted to spend my time off, but these things happen. Now the front of my house will just look naked until I can get back to it. In my mind, I don't feel out of shape ;) But my body is good at reminding me.

To add insult to injury, I have not made the best choices for eating. My pity party included cookies and ice cream. I don't even have anything positive to say right now. Why can't I stick to eating right?

Not now...

2010-03-17T18:28:00.000-05:00

The city's big truck came yesterday and picked up all the tree limbs in the neighborhood. While I'm thankful they do that, they always leave behind some broken pieces and dig up some of the grass. So, this morning I got up and went out to pick up all the debris. My back was hurting a little, but I'm stubborn and just kept working. When you're out of shape you really should listen to what your body is telling you. I felt a shift way down low in my back and it's like the wind got knocked out of me. Now is not the time for my back to go out!! All day today I've been trying to get relief. First I laid around (which is hard for me to do even when I don't have things I want to get done), then I walked around outside with Sydney in the backyard. Lots of moaning and groaning whenever I tried to sit down and then get up again. I have a pretty high pain threshhold, but this Hurts!

Needless to say, I'm really irritated. I have too many projects left that I want to get done this week. I'm hoping that if I rest today, tomorrow it will be better. Today was so pretty and sunny, too. Sigh.

Diet? Well, I'm still eating okay, sorta. Not dieting really, but mindful of what I'm putting on my plate.

Hope the sun is shining your way today!

Spring Break Project #1 - Yard Work

2010-03-16T11:56:00.000-05:00

I've made a list of all the things I want to get done while on break this week. I may not get all of them done, but at least I'll get a jump on things. When my mom was living in Montgomery a couple of years ago, I spent most of my time going to her house on the weekends and my house went untouched. It's time to devote some TLC to my little corner of the world. I love this old house. We rented it for almost 10 years then the owner decided to sell it to me a few years ago. The previous owner never did a thing to the property but I love it, warts and all. I'm a DIY kinda girl so I love doing stuff, just don't always have the time or the cash.

Spring Break To Do List (not in any particular order of importance):

Have shrubs removed from front of house, flower beds cleaned, oak tree trimmed, fallen tree in the back chopped up and all debri placed at curb for city pickup.
Remove caulking from bathtub, bathroom sink, and kitchen sink and replace
Plant something (?) and make a pathway in front of house
Work in garage (the never ending battle)

Anyway, here are the before and after pics of the yardwork I had done yesterday. It looks rather naked right now, but I'll fill it in as my budget allows ;)

Front - Before and After

Side of House - Before and After

Front Window Hedge - Before and After

Today, I'm off to get some plants and run a few errands. Then since it's raining today, I'll work on the caulking. It's nice to off work, even if I'm working like a dog!

Have a great day, and don't forget to drink your water!

Ease into it...

2010-03-11T22:53:00.000-06:00

That's how I approached this week. Since I'd been eating everything but the kitchen sink, I told myself this week to take it slow, and it worked. Monday was all about cutting back sweets. I chose fruit instead - even had some dreaded peaches in light syrup. I never eat them but I needed to feel like I was having something really sweet. They were just what I needed. Tuesday, I did just fine. I made sure to eat a mid-morning snack and an afternoon one, too. That kept my blood sugar from sending me in search of candy.

I thought I'd share this recipe with ya'll. It's from the Biggest Loser Cookbook, page 137 (if you have the book), Mo's Spinach-Ricotta Bake. I changed the recipe up a little (something I seem to always do) by using low-fat ricotta instead of fat-free - cause that's what I had on hand. Anyway, it was super easy and really good. I think next time I'll add onion or roasted red peppers to zest it up a little.

Mo's Spinach-Ricotta Bake

1 package (1 lb) frozen chopped spinach, thawed
1 container (15 oz) fat-free ricotta cheese
3 T grated reduced fat parmesan cheese
2 large egg whites
1/4 t. garlic powder
pinch of nutmeg (I didn't add this to mine)
1 1/2 cups of low sodium, low-fat marinara sauce (there is a recipe in the book p. 191)

Preheat oven to 400 F. Lightly mist an 8"x8" dish with olive oil spray.

Drain spinach, squeeze out as much moisture as possible (very important so dish won't be watery). Place in a large mixing bowl. Add the ricotta, Parmesan, egg whites, garlic powder, and nutmeg (or not). Stir to mix. Transfer to prepared dish. With the back of a spoon, spread it out to fill the dish. Bake for 20 minutes, or until it is hot through and the top is starting to brown. Let stand for 5 minutes to cool slightly.

Heat marinara sauce in sauce pan or microwave (on low power) until warm. Cut the spinach-ricotta bake into 6 equal pieces. Transfer each piece to a serving plate. Spoon 1/4 cup of sauce over each serving. Serve immediately. Store leftovers in resealable plastic container in fridge for up to 3 days.

Makes 6 servings. Per serving: 134 cals, 11 g protein, 17 g carbs, 2 g fat, 15 mg chol, 3 g fiber, 304 mg sodium.

You can eat two servings with a salad and have a great meal! It is really good.

I'm off next week for Spring Break. I need it as much as anyone. I'll be staying home, doing some DIY, watching movies, and reeeeelaxxxxxxing. Oh, and riding my bike. I rode Tuesday and again today and I think Nellie's wheels were singing!

Have a great weekend. Take it easy and don't forget to drink your water.

Hello, it's me.

2010-03-04T18:41:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since my last ~~confession~~ blog post. I've been around blog-land, just reading and leaving a comment every now and then. I feel like I've fallen and I can't get up.

**Warning: This section might be TMI for some (mostly guys, if you happen to read my blog)**
I've had menstral problems all my life and a few months ago, it appeared that all that was over. No periods for several months!! I was elated. Until about a month ago, when I started to feel the old familiar signs of PMS and then, yep, the respite was over. I felt depressed and tired and sad and angry and hungry and cranky and crappy and crampy and - okay, that's enough. I'm sure you get the picture. I've had terrible bouts of binge eating. Stopping by the store on the way home and cramming food into my mouth, throwing the evidence in the trash when I got home. Eating in hiding. Eating just to be eating, I think.

As a result, I've gained 20 lbs back from what my lowest weigh-in was back before Thanksgiving. I'm very disappointed in the way I let my hormones take control of my life. And I do blame the hormones. And just today, when it looks like the end of a 3 week long period might be ending soon, I feel like I am getting things under control.

But right this second, dieting still sounds like a four letter word. To me, a lifelong dieter, it means planning and measuring, and chopping, and cooking. In the past I've tried to just limit how much I eat, but eventually, I eat too much and then I don't lose. If I keep my menus simple and boring I seem to do better, but that is hard to stick to. I'm just going to have to get back to work and do what I know works. I know that summer will be here before I know it and I want this weight off.

So, planning it is. Simple, it is. Cook, yep. Chop, yep. I can do it. I just have to. I still want to respond to some of the awards some of you have given me. I couldn't seem to write anything positive before. It's hard to write about happy things when you can't feel happy.

Thanks for listening. I love you guys. I'll be posting more often and sharing a recipe or two. I made something last night that was really good and quick!

Bike me.

2010-02-18T23:12:00.000-06:00

Today we had sun. Lots of sun. It's still kinda chilly, but having the sun up in that big, blue, Texas sky, was just what my soul needed today. I've been doing very little self-care lately. Mostly, letting stress be the dictator of my mood. I'm looking for validation in all the wrong places, again.

So, Nellie and I went for a ride today. It was 57 degrees and sunny! I spent part of the ride chasing spots on the ground because I kept looking up at the sun :). I rode today without tunes so I could really be in the moment. And the peacefulness of the ride helped me realize that everyday I need to make better choices. Choices that concern only me. And that is not being selfish, it's self-careing. A new concept for me, but I need to practice it until I get good at it.

Have a great weekend. Practice self-care and don't forget to drink your water!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T11:47:00.000-06:00

Twenty-six years ago today, Valentine's Day changed forever for me.

My son was born on this day of hearts and love. He is my best-ever Valentine.

And while now, as a grown person, he personally sees this day as a commercial rip-off,

he will always be, in my heart,

my birthday-boy valentine.

Happy hearts and hugs to you!

Hocus Pocus

2010-01-31T00:01:00.000-06:00

I can feel my waistline expanding. This week I have become my own worst enemy. I've eaten too many carbs, and not the whole wheat kind. I'm dangerously close to having gained at least 15 pounds since Thanksgiving.

What on earth has happened? I was so motivated to eat healthier and choose exercise over sitting around, doing nothing. Now, even though I am making a half-hearted attempt at riding my bike, it's not enough. Being hypothyroid means I need to really move it to lose it. And now, for the last two days, I've binged on bread, crackers, and brownies.

I was at Amazon today looking for another "diet" book to inspire me. Not a book to tell me what to do. God knows, I know what to do. I was looking for a book to give me that magic potion for getting my motivation back. You know, that kick in the pants to get back on track. I saw a few that called out to me and I almost hit the "add to cart" button, but I didn't. I have a bookcase full of books that I thought would "get me in the ~~mood~~ mind-set" to diet. Did they help? Well, for a little while and I'd lose some weight. Sometimes a lot of weight. Then my old habits would start up again and I'd gain some back and then just give up. Is that what's happening again? Oh, please, not again.

I just want my motivation back.

A Very Late Thank You!

2010-01-27T20:09:00.002-06:00

B-Day Wishes
Originally uploaded by Knitty Gritty
I got this sweet card in the mail last Saturday. It's from Andrea! Thank you, Andrea! So sweet and thoughtful of you. I was in such a funk last weekend and getting this card was a bright spot, for sure. Thank you, thank you, love you, lots!

It's not just a card, either. Soon, it will be flowers. How, you ask? Well, that little brown section is actually full of seeds and all I have to do is plant it and...they will grow. I can't wait to see what kind of flowers they will be.

This week is getting better. I'm overlooking other peoples hysteria and finding some joy in every day.

Office Update

2010-01-25T23:29:00.000-06:00

Monday morning, I prayed for wisdom and calmness on my way to work. I can't control other people and how they behave but I can decide how I will handle it myself. I've had to tell myself this many times. I personalize to much. So, at work today, I stood up for myself in the nicest of ways and things seemed to quiet down.

Thank you, my friends, for your wonderful comments. They soothed my spirit and gave me such comfort. You helped me face the day.

I got a nice bike ride in after work. Stress Management: blogging and biking :)

I wish this weekend would never end.

2010-01-24T00:01:00.000-06:00

I don't want to go back to work on Monday. If (financially) I could afford it, I would have gotten my purse and my plant and walked out on Friday. For the first time in years, I hate my job. I just simply think life is too short to have to put up with other peoples sh*t. But I have too many people relying on me to keep this ship afloat so I have to grit my teeth and pray and hope for a miracle.

Because of all the crap going on at work, my attempt at eating right was a little futile. I did okay until Friday. Then I stopped at Randall's to buy license tags for the car and decided I needed a brownie. I bought the package that had four brownies in it and ate one and a half on the way home. I just finished the last brownie tonight. I'm so miserable and it's not from eating a damn brownie.

I did manage to ride 25 miles this week.

And last night, I had a dream and Gerard Butler was in it. Nice.

Tune Day

2010-01-21T20:36:00.001-06:00

Today I need a distraction from all the crap happening at the daily grind. I went for a bike ride after work in 75 degree weather with low humidity. I almost feel guilty mentioning that temp, but this is Texas and the weather here is famous for it's unpredictibility (is that a word? don't know, don't care today). After my ride I took Sydney for a walk - avoiding any poop along the way, lol. While riding today I heard my new favorite tune! I was giggling through the whole song. Enjoy! Hope you have a great Friday.

Well, poo!

2010-01-18T15:19:00.001-06:00

I'm off work today (yay!) for MLK Day. My morning started nice and quiet with a cup of coffee, a little blog reading, and some greek yogurt with frozen blueberries mixed in. I let Sydney lick the container as she was almost drooling while watching me slurp it up.

Then we went for a walk. Nothing unusual for most of our time out in the neighborhood until...Sydney sniffed something and then tried to roll in it. I quickly reined her in and thought all was fine. But I kept smelling poo. Big time. We were almost home so I thought, whatever, some dog must have poo'd really big smelly poo. As we got to our driveway, I looked down at Sydney's "smiling" face and there, on her back, was a big smear of poo! And it was on her foot. What the crap (literally)?! Why do dogs do that? I couldn't believe it. Now we have bath #2 all in one weekend. I was more than a little disgusted.

It's times like these that I really wonder why I have animals in the first place. They are dirty, they like to throw up on my rugs, which right now I don't have any because of said throwing up. Does any one know why they have to throw up on their beds or on rugs? I was going to post today about the things that make me happy since I was awarded a lovely Happiness 101 awared from Suzi and Anne h about how my pets make me HAPPY. Maybe later tonight I'll get my happy list going. Right now, I'm working on anger management ;)

Here's Sydney after her second bath in two days. I think she's still wondering if were okay. I told her I'm sorry for getting so mad at her for acting like a dog. She's very sensitive and all my cursing probably upset her. Sorry, girl, I'm only acting like a human :)

Hope your Monday got off without any mishaps. I'm going to go make me some decaf coffee and chill.

Sunday Snapshots and Many Thanks!

2010-01-17T19:14:00.001-06:00

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. You all are so thoughtful and I thank you with all my heart. My birthday was quiet. Mom and I spent the evening going through old photos. It was fun to remember the "old" days, lol. She asked me if I wanted cake since I've been dieting again. I quickly said "of course and make it chocolate." It's very good and very chocolate. Yesterday we went out for steak dinner and that was good, too. Today, I gave the dogs a bath and spent time in my knitting stash looking for a new project. Here are some pics from the weekend and today.

Mom's chocolate cake :)

My new "I Love NY" coffee cup.

Egg in a cup. Today's breakfast.

Sydney and Colby after their baths, smelling good :)

A nice end to the day.

Have a good week!

Thoughts on The Day

2010-01-15T07:23:00.000-06:00

Today is my birthday! I'm older, heh.

Here are some thoughts on birthdays:

We are always the same age inside.

- Gertrude Stein

We turn not older with years, but newer every day.

- Emily Dickinson

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

And to add a little humor to the day:

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. - Mark Twain

Have a great day and a super weekend!!