Hocus Pocus

I can feel my waistline expanding. This week I have become my own worst enemy. I've eaten too many carbs, and not the whole wheat kind. I'm dangerously close to having gained at least 15 pounds since Thanksgiving.

What on earth has happened? I was so motivated to eat healthier and choose exercise over sitting around, doing nothing. Now, even though I am making a half-hearted attempt at riding my bike, it's not enough. Being hypothyroid means I need to really move it to lose it. And now, for the last two days, I've binged on bread, crackers, and brownies.

I was at Amazon today looking for another "diet" book to inspire me. Not a book to tell me what to do. God knows, I know what to do. I was looking for a book to give me that magic potion for getting my motivation back. You know, that kick in the pants to get back on track. I saw a few that called out to me and I almost hit the "add to cart" button, but I didn't. I have a bookcase full of books that I thought would "get me in the mood mind-set" to diet. Did they help? Well, for a little while and I'd lose some weight. Sometimes a lot of weight. Then my old habits would start up again and I'd gain some back and then just give up. Is that what's happening again? Oh, please, not again.

I just want my motivation back.

A Very Late Thank You!

B-Day Wishes
Originally uploaded by Knitty Gritty
I got this sweet card in the mail last Saturday. It's from Andrea! Thank you, Andrea! So sweet and thoughtful of you. I was in such a funk last weekend and getting this card was a bright spot, for sure. Thank you, thank you, love you, lots!

It's not just a card, either. Soon, it will be flowers. How, you ask? Well, that little brown section is actually full of seeds and all I have to do is plant it and...they will grow. I can't wait to see what kind of flowers they will be.

This week is getting better. I'm overlooking other peoples hysteria and finding some joy in every day.

Office Update

Monday morning, I prayed for wisdom and calmness on my way to work. I can't control other people and how they behave but I can decide how I will handle it myself. I've had to tell myself this many times. I personalize to much. So, at work today, I stood up for myself in the nicest of ways and things seemed to quiet down.

Thank you, my friends, for your wonderful comments. They soothed my spirit and gave me such comfort. You helped me face the day.

I got a nice bike ride in after work. Stress Management: blogging and biking :)

I wish this weekend would never end.

I don't want to go back to work on Monday. If (financially) I could afford it, I would have gotten my purse and my plant and walked out on Friday. For the first time in years, I hate my job. I just simply think life is too short to have to put up with other peoples sh*t. But I have too many people relying on me to keep this ship afloat so I have to grit my teeth and pray and hope for a miracle.

Because of all the crap going on at work, my attempt at eating right was a little futile. I did okay until Friday. Then I stopped at Randall's to buy license tags for the car and decided I needed a brownie. I bought the package that had four brownies in it and ate one and a half on the way home. I just finished the last brownie tonight. I'm so miserable and it's not from eating a damn brownie.

I did manage to ride 25 miles this week.

And last night, I had a dream and Gerard Butler was in it. Nice.

Tune Day

Today I need a distraction from all the crap happening at the daily grind. I went for a bike ride after work in 75 degree weather with low humidity. I almost feel guilty mentioning that temp, but this is Texas and the weather here is famous for it's unpredictibility (is that a word? don't know, don't care today). After my ride I took Sydney for a walk - avoiding any poop along the way, lol. While riding today I heard my new favorite tune! I was giggling through the whole song. Enjoy! Hope you have a great Friday.

Well, poo!

I'm off work today (yay!) for MLK Day. My morning started nice and quiet with a cup of coffee, a little blog reading, and some greek yogurt with frozen blueberries mixed in. I let Sydney lick the container as she was almost drooling while watching me slurp it up.

Then we went for a walk. Nothing unusual for most of our time out in the neighborhood until...Sydney sniffed something and then tried to roll in it. I quickly reined her in and thought all was fine. But I kept smelling poo. Big time. We were almost home so I thought, whatever, some dog must have poo'd really big smelly poo. As we got to our driveway, I looked down at Sydney's "smiling" face and there, on her back, was a big smear of poo! And it was on her foot. What the crap (literally)?! Why do dogs do that? I couldn't believe it. Now we have bath #2 all in one weekend. I was more than a little disgusted.

It's times like these that I really wonder why I have animals in the first place. They are dirty, they like to throw up on my rugs, which right now I don't have any because of said throwing up. Does any one know why they have to throw up on their beds or on rugs? I was going to post today about the things that make me happy since I was awarded a lovely Happiness 101 awared from Suzi and Anne h about how my pets make me HAPPY. Maybe later tonight I'll get my happy list going. Right now, I'm working on anger management ;)

Here's Sydney after her second bath in two days. I think she's still wondering if were okay. I told her I'm sorry for getting so mad at her for acting like a dog. She's very sensitive and all my cursing probably upset her. Sorry, girl, I'm only acting like a human :)

Hope your Monday got off without any mishaps. I'm going to go make me some decaf coffee and chill.

Sunday Snapshots and Many Thanks!

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. You all are so thoughtful and I thank you with all my heart. My birthday was quiet. Mom and I spent the evening going through old photos. It was fun to remember the "old" days, lol. She asked me if I wanted cake since I've been dieting again. I quickly said "of course and make it chocolate." It's very good and very chocolate. Yesterday we went out for steak dinner and that was good, too. Today, I gave the dogs a bath and spent time in my knitting stash looking for a new project. Here are some pics from the weekend and today.

Mom's chocolate cake :)

My new "I Love NY" coffee cup.

Egg in a cup. Today's breakfast.

Sydney and Colby after their baths, smelling good :)

A nice end to the day.

Have a good week!

Thoughts on The Day

Today is my birthday! I'm older, heh.

Here are some thoughts on birthdays:

We are always the same age inside.

- Gertrude Stein

We turn not older with years, but newer every day.

- Emily Dickinson

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

And to add a little humor to the day:

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. - Mark Twain

Have a great day and a super weekend!!

Wild Horses

This post has nothing to do with horses (other than the photo), I just liked the sound of it, lol. Well, I'm feeling less anxious today. Food-wise was not stellar, but I'm okay with it and I'll get it all back under control soon.

Thank you all for "being there" for me. It really helped to blow it out here amongst the blog-o-support-system. You guys are the best.

Have a great day tomorrow! And don't forget to drink some water. Whatever, just drink it ;)

Stressed and Disgusted

Funny how fast things can change in a day. I've been very stressed at work all week and today was no better. So I fell into old habits and I gobbled down about 15 of those little mini candy thingies and 7 (yep) mini butter croissants. How disgusted am I? Pretty danged disgusted.

Why don't I care more about myself than that? Why don't I pamper myself when I feel used and abused? I just don't understand how I can let my emotions make me do the things I hate.