Calling all plant lovers...

Can anyone tell me what the name of this flowering plant is? I saw it while walking the dog and I must have one. I didn't take the time to ask the owner and Sydney would have barked her head off anyway, haha.

Testing Myself (not a good idea)

I'm still trying to figure out if I'm done losing. I feel good at 143, although I'm at 144.2 right now, ugh. For the last two weeks I tried having a few starchy (S) foods in my diet and it really stirred up my old cravings. I got a little worried that I wouldn't be able to reel myself back in. But pulling on my size 10 pants reminded me of how good it feels to have lost the weight. To feel so healthy is way more important to me than having potato chips. Yes, that is what I seemed to crave more than anything and I never used to eat them. Weird, huh?!

Been reading Refuse to Regain and it is turning out to be just what I needed. I had seen this book at Amazon for awhile, but wasn't sure it would be the right book for me. I've spent so much money on diet books in the past and didn't want to waste more money. But after reading some of Karen's blogs over at her blog, Garden Girl, I knew this book would be worth the investment. This is not just a diet book. It is a change your ideas about eating book. And it helped me get perspective over my eating for these last two weeks.

I don't know why, but last weekend I started feeling sad and depressed about never eating bread and chips and crackers so I got some gluten free crackers and bought some baked potato chips and some sugar free candy. Well, disaster is putting it mildly. I fell head first into my old binge routine. I got scared, really scared. I saw the scale go up a couple of pounds in just a few days. I felt like I had no control. That was the most scary part. I wanted to eat all the time. What a nightmare I created for myself. What was I thinking. The regret and pain I felt over what I had done was not worth it. Not at all.

I have much to learn about myself and food. The one thing I know for sure...I do not want to regain my weight and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn't happen. So, if it means that S foods are for special occasions, then that is what I'll do. Or if it means that some foods are never to be eaten again, then that is what I'll do. I love what Dr. Berkeley says about diets of conviction. If I were a vegan or vegetarian, no one would question my choice of not eating meat. So, if I choose not to eat grains or sugar as my diet of conviction, there should be no questioning why. It's what I want for myself and I have no judgement for anyone else. I have to do what is right for me and realize that this is not a punishment. It is a choice I'm making for my health.

Of course, wearing size 10 clothes makes it worth it, too! We are having some nice autumn-like weather (finally) and I can't wait to wear my boots with my new dress!

*graphic from this site.

Taking Care of Business (and cats and dogs)

It's one month past my Medifast-iversary and I'm doing great. Finding a weight to call it quits is still in the works. I feel good at 143, which is lower my original goal weight of 158 which was my "just get to a healthy BMI" weight. But, I keep feeling like I still have some fat stores in abdomen area. But for now, I'm tippy-toeing into maintenance. Yay!

So my son is in China! He's been there a month already. I can hardly believe he is there. Haven't talked much, Skype is tricky as he is 13 hours ahead of me and his mornings are my evenings and he's never been a talker in the morning. But he's sending newsletter-type details and it's so fun to read about what he's doing. Makes me want to pack up everything and follow his lead. Not sure China would be my choice as squatty-potties don't appeal :) But, I'm envious of the adventure and so proud of him for going for it!

The week he left was a whirlwind. He had not really taken steps to move out of his apartment so the last few days he was here were spent with us moving, packing, and cleaning. I lost a couple of pounds just helping him get out of the worlds tiniest apartment that holds so much stuff. And now I'm foster parent to his kitten. I didn't want to do it, but I couldn't say no. I've never been good at saying no when it comes to animals. So, Sydney and the new kitten, Shelby, are mortal enemies and I don't know how long it's going to take for them to learn to get along. Oh, the things we do as moms, right?

In other news, if you're a woman and want a truly humiliating interesting experience...lose 100+ lbs and go shopping for a bra. Of course, being a woman of a certain age makes it even more humiliating interesting. Nothing is quite where it used to be and things just don't fit they way you want them to. But, I did finally compromise and found a size that lifted and separated with out leaving too much hanging out the sides. I'm so happy to be thinner, though, that this is the last thing I spend much energy on worrying over.

I started taking Jazzer-cise last week and LOVE it! It's going to take awhile for me to get the moves down, and I have to limit some of the jumping around since my knees are low on cartilage, but they really work your abs and arms and back. All areas that I'm in need of toning. Bike riding and doing the elliptical are great for cardio, but this body needs more than that. 

Hope your week goes well. We are going to have our first touch of cooler (well, for southeast Texas) weather and I am so ready for it.

Take care!

Tena

Happy Friday!

Something to remember...
 

Focus, Food, and Breathing

I'm still focused on losing a few more pounds, but I've started working towards weening myself off the Medifast foods. I will start maintenance soon after I reach my goal weight (which at this time is still undecided) but I think my diet will stay low-carb and be sans bread for awhile. Bread is a trigger food for me so it will have to be something I have only on occasion. At least, that's my plan for now. I have a different attitude about food now that I've actually lost weight successfully. I like being thin too much to throw it all away just for the sake of eating :) Of course, I feel successful right now, but maintaining it will be an on-going quest.

Have you tried Tofu Shirataki Noodles? I tried them awhile back and I didn't like them at all. I may not have realized that you need to rinse them several times and then parboil before using them but that is key for getting them to taste good. I used them in my favorite kind of dish - add this and this and this, and wah-la, you have dinner. I first added a little olive oil to a pan, threw in some left over broccoli, veggie meatballs, and the drained noodles. Then spiced it up with a little seasoning and a Laughing Cow cheese triangle (queso flavor as it's my favorite). Once the cheese melts, it's ready. Then I sprinkled a little bit of grated parmesan cheese on top. Very good and filling.

Have I mentioned that my son will be leaving for China soon. *gasp*  I can hardly breathe when I say that. Not because I'm worried, only because China so freaking far away. He's taking a teaching position there and plans to stay for a year. So, I'll be saving and scrimping so I can go visit him. I raised him to be adventurous, so this is good. It just happened so suddenly...well, I've know he wanted to go for months now, but he leaves at the end of this month! I need to practice breathing...

I signed up for a charity bike ride for next month. It's Tour de Pink which is part of the Pink Ribbons Project, an organization that helps underserved women get mammograms and care they need. I rode this one in 2009 and am excited to ride it again. I don't have a road bike, but my hybrid should do fine for the 23 mile route. I was overweight back in 2009 so I'm excited to see how different the riding will be now that I'm 100+ lbs lighter! If you want to make a donation and help me reach my fundraising goal, please click here.

Hope your week is full of promise!
Tena

Friday Night Re-cap

First, let me say thanks to all of you for your congrats on my weightloss. You all have a special place in my heart. I've learned so much from this community and without blogging, I know my journey would not have been so successful. Your support has been truly a blessing.

Yesterday was mom's 78th birthday and to celebrate, we went out for dinner. She loves steak so we (me, mom and my son) went to a local steak place to eat. Dinner was great! I had the K-Bob with sauteed veggies and salad with balsamic dressing on the side.

I haven't eaten out much while dieting. It's just been easier to make sure my food was prepared the way I wanted it and to avoid temptation. But to never go out to eat is not practical since eating is a social event. Something I read on the Medifast boards some time ago has really stuck with me:

It's a people event with food, not a food event with people.

So, last night I focused on the people and food was secondary. And it made all the difference. I passed on the bread and enjoyed being in the company of family. 

Later at home, we had ice cream cake. I had a very small piece and really, it was enough. My inner brat wanted to stomp her feet, but I very sternly said "no" and moved on to a nice cup of cofffee. All in all, it was an evening of being in control and the little bit of cake didn't trigger me to feel like I needed more. I don't think all things in moderation will work for me, but the small portion of ice cream cake followed by coffee didn't stir up any old feelings. And best of all, no change on the scale this morning. I had gone for a bike ride and walked Sydney earlier that day to offset any additional calories. 

I do believe that we have to have a plan in order to maintain once we've lost weight. Especially those of us that are seasoned yo-yo dieters. I'm not finished losing yet, but I'm learning something about myself: I can be in control and mean it!

Have an awesome weekend. Take care!

Before and After (almost)

Have I mentioned that I lost some weight, haha? I had a couple of goals in mind when I started Medifast on September 2, 2011: 1. Lose enough weight to be out of the obese range, 2. Lose enough weight to be out  of the overweight range, 3. Be a healthy "normal" weight and maintain that weight. 

In order to get to a "normal" weight range I needed to weigh 158 according to the BMI charts. That would put me on high end of normal for my 5'7" frame. But I don't want to just be on the high end, I want to have a little room for those times when the scale dips up a few from a weekend of too much social living. Not to give myself room for bad eating habits, but just room for when my weight fluctuates a bit, I won't beat myself up. So, I still want to lose a few more pounds :)

September 2011 - Before - 251.6 lbs

June 2012 - Almost done - 155

I think I can lose another ten pounds and still feel good. The next phase for me will be strength training. I don't think there is much I can do about some of my saggy spots, but I want to try and replace some of my flabby with a little muscle. Being a certain size doesn't really matter to me, but my mid-section doesn't match my ever-thinning legs :)

I feel so much better having lost this weight! I want to tell everyone that is in a diet or wants to lose a few: It is a gift you must give yourself. Try to think of it this way - that you are giving yourself something (a body)  that will help you feel better and move more. Words can not really express what I'm trying to say. It's just a freedom that you may not have realized you were missing. Yeah, freedom.

You know, it takes a village, as they say, and I just want to say that all the support that I've received by blogging has been a key element to my success. On days when I felt myself wanting to give up, I'd read someone's blog and realize that I wasn't alone in this fight. We all have to do what works for us, but sometimes hearing how someone else is doing it, helps.



(The almost done picture isn't the best. It was taken by my mom and there is a shadow behind my head making my hair look bigger than it actually is, haha.)

Keeping Cool

Happy Tuesday! It seems we are having a slight break in the heat here in H-town thanks to a few rainy days. And they say it will be rainy here for a few more days. The much needed cool-off is feeling good, but apparently heat will move in again when the skies clear.

I'm wondering what tips you have for keeping cool when doing outdoor activities. I take Sydney for a walk everyday and she gets hot, too. Any tips or products that you've found that are keeping you cool? Do share :)

Happy Independence Day!

Happy 4th of July!!

I love this holiday! I have the best memories of family cookouts and watching fireworks. Lighting sparklers and, back in the day, setting off a few Black Cats in our own backyard. Everything would be all American including bbq, apple pie, and watermelon and then end with a family squabble. But it was all good by the next weekend when the family would gather for the next edition of brotherly love.

This year, I'm celebrating my own independence. Since losing 95 lbs (from September 2011), I'm declaring independence from:

• being obese and overweight
• the inability to move
• lack of energy
• junk food
• plus size clothing
• loss of hope
• poor health

I think I have finally realized that being healthy is something I want for myself. I didn't lose weight (this time) for anyone else but me. Always before when I would starve myself it was for the approval of someone else. And when I still didn't meet up to their expectations I let it affect me in a self-destructive way - by eating. But doing it for me has made me see that I'm my own best friend. I just wish it didn't take me so long to figure this out.

So this holiday will still be about getting together with family, but the focus won't be on just the food. I hope to focus more on enjoying the people I'm with and celebrating the freedom we have as Americans.

I hope you had a wonderful holiday!

Book Review

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I loved this book. I could see myself in it, page after page. Not in the same way exactly, but in ways that I could relate to my own feelings of having felt lost and then finding my way. Cheryl is an amazing writer and I look forward to reading more from her.


View all my reviews