All I know is, I'm looking for confidence. I only hope I can find it.
Today I ate well, took Sydney for a walk, and rode my bike for a couple of miles. My back is still hurting and limiting my movements but I'm determined to work it out.
At work I feel a change might be coming. It's that time of year for contract renewal and some people are leaving the school for greener pastures. That's all fine and good for them, but it may mean more duties for me. They seem to have a lot of confidence in my abilities. But for some reason I feel like I'm faking it everyday and one day they'll see that I'm really not as good at my job as they thought.
By the way, are you drinking your water?
Here's one of the things that is helping me. And yes, I realize it makes me sound crazy. Hell, I probably am. But when I finally understood what my lack of confidence and self-esteem was doing to me - what I was doing to me, I started approaching things a bit differently.
ReplyDeleteSee the deal is, I'm one damned fine Mother. It's the one thing that I did well (enough) and so I sort of talk to myself/treat myself during the moments of weakness as if I were speaking to my daughter. All the confidence I have in her goodness and her abilities, well, I use that same voice to strengthen my resolve to do or not to do, whatever the case my be. I know you are a damned fine Mom, too. Use those loving skills and knowledge to parent yourself through this. You've raised a damned fine son. You can do this, too.
I bet you are good at your job :) Yes, I am drinking my water!! Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteOooh, I like what Roxie said! (Even if she is a little crazy. :) Just kidding, of course. I think she's hit the nail right on the head. Believing in yourself AND your abilities will give you strength to withstand all sorts of adversities. If all you can imagine is one area in which you've been successful (though I'm sure there are many), you can use that success to prompt your success in other areas. It's like a virus that way. :)
ReplyDeleteGetting to your goal of fitness: one day at a time, sister. Start fresh everyday.
ReplyDeleteI highly reccomend the bood "The Mind Gym". I am reading it now and it is literally changing how I think about myself and what I can achieve. It's been amazing to read.
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