Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Take care and have a good Sunday.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Today, when I woke up, I had no desire to jump up and get on my bike. I had no desire to get up at all. I just felt tired. So I slept in till about 10am. I spent the day at home just piddling around.
I finished knitting a baby blanket yesterday, too. One that was on the needles for-freakin-ever! Anyway, I decided since that project was finished, I could start my next project which is a scarf. I spent all damn day looking for pattern. Why I didn't keep it with the yarn is a mystery. I couldn't stop looking until I found it, either. I'm a little obsessive compulsive when I'm looking for something. I HAVE to find it or my mind won't shut up. So, after about 4 hours of searching, I found it. Well that was mentally exhausting, so I didn't feel like riding my bike this evening, either.
I started the scarf and I'm glad I did. It is really turning out to be soothing to my soul. There is something about the feel of the yarn and the repetitive movement that is very relaxing to me. I've missed knitting and I think I'm going to make it a regular part of my day again.
Here is what the scarf looks like right now.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
- To weigh or not to weigh?
- Can I hang in for the very long, long journey to thinsville this time?
- Am I enjoying any of these lifestyle changes?
- Who will I be when I get there?
Honestly, this week I've stepped on the scale and first saw a loss, then saw a gain, then a loss. Well, that wasn't fun. NOT. And, I've been on my bike everyday and eaten well staying within my calorie limit with a good deficit at the end of each day. So what's the deal with that? I think my body is on strike. It's quite the rebel. My thyroid is already kaput, what else can go wrong?
And, the more I think about posting my loss (if I had a loss to post, that is) I kinda feel like I'm bragging. I don't want to wave my loss in the face of someone that didn't have a loss. Some of you (Karen) have thrown out your scale?! Geez, woman, I wish I could bring myself to do that! I'm so confused. I'm also terrified that I'm never going to lose all this weight.
It's just not happening fast enough for me. I've spent so much time in this full figured body (doncha like how I said that?) and I'm worried that I'll never get the thinner, healthier body that I keep dreaming about. I know what to do, and I'm doing it, but my patience is running dry like the summer we're having having in Texas.
I'm enjoying the healthier foods that I'm eating. I eat more fruit and veggies, which I like. I never had a soda problem so that's never been an issue for me. Of course, I do have my daily coffee habit to contend with but I'm working on that. And lately, maybe since it's so blasted hot, I've been wanting ice cream. So, Blue Bell has a great no sugar added low-fat vanilla that I dip into a few times a week. Still, it fits into my calories so I figure as long as I'm eating healthy stuff, no damage done.
I've lost weight many times before. All my adult life I've been "losing" weight. I lost weight each summer to wear a swimsuit. I lost weight so I could wear a size 8 wedding dress. I lost weight after I had my son so my husband would stop having an affair. That didn't work, obviously, and he's been out of the picture for 24 years. After my divorce I went into hiding and I've been there ever since.
Most of my weightloss in the past has been aimed at seeking acceptance. I don't feel that way this time. This is new territory for me and it's kinda freaking me out. It'll be a new me, not just in body size, but I hope in my attitude. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin - for me. I don't think I've ever felt that way.
See what happens when I don't have much to say for days?! Anyways, there's a new me taking shape. It's just taking longer than I'd hoped!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
After I cleaned house, we put some ribs, hamburgers, and brats on the grill. My mom and son are fans of the ribs, and my son is the brats-meister. I had a burger without a bun and some potato salad and some beans. It was a nice day and doing all the cooking on the grill didn't heat up the house - yay!