Thursday, March 4, 2010

Hello, it's me.

It's been a while since my last confession blog post. I've been around blog-land, just reading and leaving a comment every now and then. I feel like I've fallen and I can't get up.

**Warning:  This section might be TMI for some (mostly guys, if you happen to read my blog)**
I've had menstral problems all my life and a few months ago, it appeared that all that was over. No periods for several months!! I was elated. Until about a month ago, when I started to feel the old familiar signs of PMS and then, yep, the respite was over. I felt depressed and tired and sad and angry and hungry and cranky and crappy and crampy and - okay, that's enough. I'm sure you get the picture. I've had terrible bouts of binge eating. Stopping by the store on the way home and cramming food into my mouth, throwing the evidence in the trash when I got home. Eating in hiding. Eating just to be eating, I think.

As a result, I've gained 20 lbs back from what my lowest weigh-in was back before Thanksgiving. I'm very disappointed in the way I let my hormones take control of my life. And I do blame the hormones. And just today, when it looks like the end of a 3 week long period might be ending soon, I feel like I am getting things under control.

But right this second, dieting still sounds like a four letter word. To me, a lifelong dieter, it means planning and measuring, and chopping, and cooking. In the past I've tried to just limit how much I eat, but eventually, I eat too much and then I don't lose. If I keep my menus simple and boring I seem to do better, but that is hard to stick to. I'm just going to have to get back to work and do what I know works. I know that summer will be here before I know it and I want this weight off.

So, planning it is. Simple, it is. Cook, yep. Chop, yep. I can do it. I just have to. I still want to respond to some of the awards some of you have given me. I couldn't seem to write anything positive before. It's hard to write about happy things when you can't feel happy.

Thanks for listening. I love you guys. I'll be posting more often and sharing a recipe or two. I made something last night that was really good and quick!


  1. Welcome back! The hardest part is starting.

  2. Simple, it is.
    Easy? Maybe not so easy.

    To quote a great post I read recently called "Bike Me"
    "Practice self-care and don't forget to drink your water!"
    At least if you fall a little in Blogland,
    there's plenty of people to catch you!
    *hugs and stuff*

  3. Welcome back, Tena. We've missed you.

  4. Ug. Those hormone swings are the worst! I hear you on the food chopping cooking meansureing calculating writing part... its a life sentence and sometimes I want to break out. Hard work. But we can find balance eventually... I know it!! :)

  5. I can sympathize! Pre-menopause, I had my period for 1 full year!!! HRT could not get regulated, and my system was completely out of whack. Finally gave up the HRT, and slowly came back to semi-normal. Then, to top it off, I didn't actually begin menopause until I was 56!!! I feel for ya. Good luck to you.

  6. The joys of womanhood!?!! It must be frustrating but I am glad to see that you posted. We are here to listen Tena. Good bad or indifferent!

  7. Hi Tena...glad you are back. I've really missed you.

  8. Hormones are certainly no fun! Glad you're back to healthier eating. Warmer weather will definitely help!

  9. I know how you feel. I just posted on my blog last night for the first time in a while. I have been so disappointed lately in my rapid weight gain....

    Let's be back together!