Book Review

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I loved this book. I could see myself in it, page after page. Not in the same way exactly, but in ways that I could relate to my own feelings of having felt lost and then finding my way. Cheryl is an amazing writer and I look forward to reading more from her.


View all my reviews

Under clothes, nobody knows ;)

I've lost 70 lbs since September of 2011. Wow, when I think about that I can hardly believe it's true. I stuck with it and now I'm so close to the goal weight that I've set for myself, I can taste it, haha.

While losing weight is good for your health, losing weight in your 50's is not pretty. It's not for the faint of heart and the squeamish. It takes dedication and the ability to look beyond the saggy, jiggly parts of your body that you may not recognize as yours.

Every day I discover new things about being thinner that make me happy. Like putting on my shoes without having to hold my breath while reaching past my belly. There's still a little belly there, but it's not in the way anymore. And like walking all around campus at work and not feeling winded and sweaty. And riding my bike...it feels like I'm flying! So much less of me to pedal around.

But, yesterday, I felt very self-conscious. I didn't expect to feel that. I mean, I've been so self-conscious from being obese that I thought once I lost weight I'd feel totally confident. Maybe with time I'll adjust, but my new shape is making me feel like wearing baggy clothes. I've gone from size 24/26 pants and 3X tops to size 16 pants and size L/XL tops in six months. Over all, I like what I'm seeing, but now there are saggy parts of me that I've never seen before. It's time to start really working the arms and mid-section. There's not much I can do about the girls, but under clothes, nobody knows ;) If you know some great exercises for arms and abs, please share.

I'll try to post some progress pics soon. I don't take my own picture very well, but I'll give it a try.

Tempting

This is so tempting...but not sure I'm ready for it since I haven't been riding :)

Red Poppy Ride  and this  Poppy Festival

Happy Wednesday!







(c) Free nature photos

Beware the dog walker-er

As part of my "get-fit" regime, walking is an everyday thing. Specifically, walking my dog Sydney every day, rain or shine. She was getting a little hefty for her size, too, so it seemed like something that would pay-off for both of us. So, we started walking a couple of months ago and except for a couple of really bad rain days, we have been out in the neighborhood every day. And, for the most part, I love it and Sydney looks forward to it I know because when I get home from work, she starts the "I'm watching every move you make until we go" thing.

I've always prided myself in being a dog person. I'm pretty intuitive to their needs and have always felt in control of my dogs in the past. Sydney, however, is a different story. She was a street dog that my son rescued a few years ago. She was less than a year old, full of fleas and growled at everyone that came near her. Needless to say, I wasn't happy and wanted him to find her a home. He worked with her and eventually, she won me over. Now, I can't imagine her not being a part of my life. She is my sweet-pea.

Sydney is a mixed breed, we guess that she's got some Beagle in her and some lab, maybe. She weighs about 30 pounds. Whatever her mix is, she has some very strong personality traits. She's affectionate, smart, protective, and determined to be the leader of the pack. That last part is where we have some problems because I tend to be a softie until I realize I'm getting run over and have to remind her who is really in charge.

So, we started walking and with the retractable leash all the way out, I let her run here and there and pee on every clump of grass or bush or stick or whatever she felt needed a little pee. It always amazed me that she could pee so much. Sometimes, we would encounter other dogs and their walkers and Sydney would stop and stare and whine and lunge toward them. I thought this was normal until lately, her lunge started looking more like a marlin jumping out of the sea at the end of a fishing cable, twisting and flying into the air! And along with all the jumping crap was this fierce cujo-esque growling. Scary and embarrassing - all at the same time! What if she broke free? Would she fight the dog or bite it's owner? What if she pulled me down? What the crap?!  Then I thought, well, maybe it's just certain dogs. Nope, she started this behavior with every dog we came across. Even little tiny dogs. I had to either get control of this or stop walking her and I didn't want to stop walking her. She needs to walk as much as I do to get healthy.

I found this article "Behaviors to Avoid During the Walk" to be quite an eye-opener to what I'd been letting Sydney do on our daily walks. She was apparently marking out her territory and protecting it. I'm not letting her pee on everything on our walks and I take her to a certain spot and tell her "go potty" and she does. Walking isn't as much fun right now, but it wasn't fun seeing her turn into cujo, either. It will take time, but I think our walks will be more enjoyable when it becomes just a walk instead of a territorial marking fest.

Enjoy your weekend!

I've made many attempts at losing weight over the past few decades years. I've lost some, gained it back, lost it again, etc., etc. As a result, I have a lot of different sizes of clothes that I've refused to give up hung on to in the event that 1. I'd lose weight and be able to wear the smaller sizes again, or 2. gain it back and nothing would fit. And since clothes are expensive, especially plus size clothes, I just kept everything and rotated them from the current size closet to the not-current size bins in the garage.

This weekend I decided it's time to change my hoarding of clothes. There will be no gaining weight back for me this time. And if I believe that (and I do) there is no reason to hang on to the clothes that are now huge too big. I spent this weekend going through my closet and the bins in the garage and did I have fun! It was like playing dress up. I had some clothes that I'd forgotten about and they fit me now! And...look good. Standing in front of a mirror hasn't been fun for me in years. I avoided mirrors except to put on my make-up. But, this weekend, I liked looking in the mirror and feeling proud of myself. I feel like a confident woman. Corny, huh?

My mom gave me a few Chico's jackets and I love them. I bought a pair of boots the other day to wear with a skirt that I've had - that's right, a skirt! I've been wearing pants forever because I  didn't like how I looked in dresses or skirts. I don't really have any heels but I guess I'll be looking for a pair soon :)

My word for this year is change and change is happening in lots of areas. Not just my size or my attitude about food and exercise. Change is happening at work and I have to believe that it's all good. A few months back, I asked God to help me change my life. I have tried to do it alone and never seemed to make any real progress. So, I prayed for Him to change me and change some other areas in my life. One of which was the situation at work with the co-worker that I've had to fill-in for because she's never there. Well, last week, we found out she won't be back. Which is no surprise, except that I'm glad it's finally permanent and that management is looking to hire someone and re-vamp her job, mine, and another co-workers to make the work-flow more even. I'm excited to see what is to come. I know that God is working on me and I put my faith in Him.

Oh, and I'm still getting up every morning to do the elliptical and in the afternoon, too. And Sydney gets her walk everyday. All this activity feels fantastic!

Have a great week and take care.

Celebrate!

This was overall, a good week. I went to the doctor. Not a big deal to some of you, but I tend to avoid going. One of my goals this year is to be better at meeting my regular doctor visits. So while I was there, I scheduled a mammo (since my last one was in 2006 *gasp* I didn't know it had been that long, sheesh) so that is what's lined up for Tuesday next week. Anyway, my lab results came in and I felt like shouting the good news from here to Alaska. Most improved was my blood sugar and my HDL. My HDL had been 29 in October and is now at 38! My total cholesterol and triglycerides were good. Blood pressure was good and EKG was very good. Exercise is paying off in more ways than one, for sure.

Aside from the good lab results, here's another cause for celebration this week - for the first time in probably 25 years, I weigh under two hundred! Woo Hoo! I'm in that place often referred to as "one-derland." I didn't think I'd ever want to call it that, but it has a nice sound to it now that it applies to me, lol. I'm not that far into the one-hundreds, but 198 sounds so much better than 2-something. Change is happening!

Last but not least, my birthday is Sunday, January 15th (I share that day with Martin). I'll be 55. Wow. I don't feel older. Just better. I had wanted to do something outdoors, but kayaking for the first time in January might not be fun. We've had some very cold temps here lately and the water might be a bit too cold so I think I'll save that for Spring.

Lee wanted to see my entryway redo. So here is a picture.

 It's clean and simple. I bought this little set from Home Depot and put it together myself. I love assembling things. In fact, last night I went to Ikea and got new chairs for the dining room and I'll be putting those together after some house cleaning today.

Link I'm loving: 7 Little Habits That Can Change Your Life, and How To Form Them

Have a great weekend!

Change

I finally decided on my word for 2012. I was trying to come up with some poetic, fancy schmancy word but got tired of searching. So I spent some time thinking about what I want this year and what I really want is change.  I want to change a lot of things. My thinking. My attitude. My life. Me.

That's a lot to change, isn't it? But I've already started changing how I view losing weight. I think I've finally figured out that it's really not about the just dieting. It's about how I feel about myself. And lately, I've been having this vision of myself as athletic. Now, stop laughing don't laugh, I don't mean athletic in the competitive sense, but athletic in the sense that being active is second nature. I want being active to become a habit like brushing my teeth. I want to be active and not just walking and biking. I want to get out, join in and participate! I've hidden behind my weight for so long and I'm ready to get back to the matter of living. A couple of goals I have in mind for this year are:  kayaking, hiking, camping out, and whatever else I can get myself in to. I'm thinking of signing up for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer that will be here in Houston in April. Sounds like a fun, crazy, two day time. If anyone is planning on walking it, let me know.

It's one thing to talk about change. But if you change nothing, nothing will change. So, I listened to Mizfit about becoming a morning exerciser and Tuesday through Friday I got myself up early and did 10 minutes on the elliptical before going to work! Then when I got home from work, after taking Sydney for her walk, I did 15 minutes more. Monday, I just got up earlier than usual to get a feel for how much time I'd need to exercise and get ready for work. And the best part is...I liked it! Yay!

Change is hard. But change will happen when we make it happen.

Today (Saturday) I put together a new entryway table and two little lamps. I had looked around at my house over the holidays and realized that I haven't really cared about how things looked. Well, that's changing, too. Clearing clutter and getting rid of stuff I don't need has been a daily thing for me over the last couple of weeks. And it feels good.

Hope you are having a great weekend. Be good to yourself.

Hello 2012!

Here it is, the first day of a brand new year. Twenty-twelve. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

All in all, last year went well. We had some losses - two pets. My son moved back for a short time so that I could help in the care of his dog, Colby. It was a trying time and finally, in the end, my son had to take him and have him put down (I hate that term, but can't think of any other way to say it). He took him by himself, that's how he rolls. He had that dog for 15 years. They were a great team and Colby will be missed for a very long time.

Colby

Our cat, Flower, also died last year. She was old and had always enjoyed living outdoors. She would only come in for a few minutes to get a little love and then be on her way. She was 17 years old. I still find myself looking for her when I drive up the driveway.

Flower

In September, I started using Medifast to get some weight off. I'd tried everything - low carb, southbeach, low-fat, low-cal, protein shakes. You name it, I think I tried it all. I just couldn't seem to get my head in the right place to seriously make a difference. Lots of yo-yoing. So, in my terms, I needed to do something drastic. A couple of women at work were going to a medifast clinic and losing weight regularly. I knew the clinic was too expensive for me but found out you could order it online. So, I ordered a couple of weeks worth. It was easy, I didn't have to think about what to eat. It is pre-measured, and portable. Now, 48 lbs later, I think I made the right choice. I'm moving more and feeling good about myself again. I'm learning that a gluten free diet is much better for me and that I don't have to eat large servings of food to be satisfied. This may not work for everyone, but it's what works for me. So, combined with what I've lost so far on Medifast and what I lost while struggling on my own the past couple of years, I've lost 83 pounds and counting!

I spent a lot of last year waiting. Waiting to do things "when I've lost more weight." Waiting for my son to get his stuff out of his old room. Waiting for my mother while she reads every label in the store while we are shopping. Waiting for co-workers to step up and do their own job. Waiting for death to come for our dear sweet dog and cat. Waiting...for a creative mood to strike.

Enough of the waiting, already. This year, and I don't have word for it yet, but there will be no more waiting. There will be living. Lots of living!

I wish you the best of all that makes you happy and bright in the new year! I hope blessings follow you everywhere you go. Thanks for being here and I hope we get to know each other even better this year.

say something nice

Love this! Aren't people awesome?!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

I know it's the day after Christmas, but I wanted to wish you all the merriest and happiest of holidays this year. Even if I don't post, I still read blogs and try to keep up with you all. Over the years, many of you have become like dear friends. Your support has meant so much to me, really.

I miss blogging sometimes. But, as I've said before, I would like to change the focus of my blog from weight-loss to something else, but I can't quite figure out what. I've lost 45 pounds since September and plan to continue losing until I get to a weight that feels right. My energy has improved and I feel like doing things again, for a change. So, for 2012, I'm hoping to get busy doing the things I've been wanting to do for years but allowed my weight to hold me back.

Anyway, I hope your holidays are good ones and that the new year brings you more love and happiness than you ever expected!