Where's the duct tape?

Seriously, where IS the duct tape? I need to put it over my mouth. I've made it through today doing South Beach. No sugar. No starch. But I'm feeling the pull and it's only 6:20 pm. I'll be going to bed early tonight if it gets too bad. I will not give in. Sugar will not tempt me. Sugar will not tempt me...

Tomorrow is the first day of school. The new freshmen will be roaming the halls and looking like scared rabbits. The seniors will be feeling freedom on the horizon and the rest of the kids will just be excited to be back. I love the first day of school. My new job has me more involved with the students and I like that. It's going to be a great year.

No ride today. It came a gully-washer, which was good enough to cool things down, but not good timing.

Take care and don't forget to watch out for school zones.

Mad Me

Not Mad Men, (though I do watch that total awesomeness) mad me. I've been acting slightly mad these days. I've disgusted myself with the way I behave with food. I've consumed entire packages of processed crap. Lots of candy and anything else that's edible. I'm quite the binge artist. Not quite the "artist" title I've been hoping to launch on this here blog. But, I've taken note of it and honestly, I'm tired of eating. Hmmm. Have you ever said that before? I don't even want to get on the scale and I think I won't for the first week. I weighed myself last week and I'd gained back almost all of what I worked so hard to lose over the summer. Pathetic.

So, this week is all about flushing the madness. I'm going to go back to my low carb way of eating, a la, South Beach style, and I know the first two weeks are going to be rough. Coming down off all this sugar will be a b*tch, but I can do it. Hmph, I've done it a thousand times. Maybe something will click this time so I won't keep repeating this reckless behavior. I do care about myself. I do want to be a healthy individual. I do want to go kayaking...someday.

I made my veggie quiche cups (from the original SB book) and bought my string cheese. Being prepared is the most important thing for me. And now that we work from 7:30am to 4pm the day is long, long, long for a snacker like me. I'll be getting back to riding, too. Yep, it's hot out, but I sweat anyway so why not ride?

A few years ago I started knitting a sock. The other day I found it in my knitting projects bag (you know, every knitter has several unfinished objects going at one time :-)) and I'm working on finishing it. Gives me something to do with my hands besides stuff my face.

Hope you have a wonderful week. And don't forget to drink your water.

You know you're out of shape when...

You throw your back out giving yourself a pedicure! That's what I did today. All was fine when I got up. Then I looked at my pitiful looking toes and went to work on making them pretty. I propped my foot up on the bathroom vanity and stayed that way while clipping, filing, polishing, etc. Then when I went to put my foot down on the floor...Crap, my back just froze up and I could hardly move. So today I've been laying around, sitting around, popping some pills and that's about it. Not exactly what I had planned.

I'm in a better frame of mind, though. Thanks to all who offered support. I appreciate this caring group so much. I've been thinking that  I need to find some creative ways to spend my time. Maybe starting an art journal or a photo blog. Or I might change the name of this blog and just mix it up. Who knows. I just know I need to be creative. I used to draw and write a lot and I want to get back to it.

Hope you have a great weekend. Take care.

What can I say?

eta: Sorry, this is kind of a downer post. Feel free to move on to another blog.

I don't even know what to say. I've been on vacation from work for the last two weeks and I seem to have checked out completely. I'm bored with focusing on losing weight. I'm depressed and blamed it on lack of carbs. It's so freakin' hot that just thinking of exercise makes me sweat. I'm drinking lots of coffee. Having lots of hot flashes. Nothing seems interesting. I've been reading blogs and wishing I was there.

I liked doing low carb, but I cut back my calories too much. I'm so sick of feeling like my whole life is about what I can't eat or what I should eat. I feel lonely and sad most days and it's my own fault. When you put up a wall, people tend to stay away. I'm not sure of anything any more.

Going back to work tomorrow will bring structure back to my day. Maybe I can get a grip. I do want to be healthy. I'm just tired of always feeling like I'll never there.