Sunday, August 1, 2010

What can I say?

eta: Sorry, this is kind of a downer post. Feel free to move on to another blog.

I don't even know what to say. I've been on vacation from work for the last two weeks and I seem to have checked out completely. I'm bored with focusing on losing weight. I'm depressed and blamed it on lack of carbs. It's so freakin' hot that just thinking of exercise makes me sweat. I'm drinking lots of coffee. Having lots of hot flashes. Nothing seems interesting. I've been reading blogs and wishing I was there.

I liked doing low carb, but I cut back my calories too much. I'm so sick of feeling like my whole life is about what I can't eat or what I should eat. I feel lonely and sad most days and it's my own fault. When you put up a wall, people tend to stay away. I'm not sure of anything any more.

Going back to work tomorrow will bring structure back to my day. Maybe I can get a grip. I do want to be healthy. I'm just tired of always feeling like I'll never there.


  1. Oh Gosh Tena...
    me too...
    What's the cure?...
    Fed up but not fed enough... ;) In all areas...Tired of struggle and strife.
    All my fault too. Bad choices and weakness...

    I hope being back at work helps you feel a bit better. Try to do something good for yourself....

  2. Been in your shoes........
    As great as vacations are and I LOVE them, it is the easiest for me when I have structure and my choices planned a head for me. Why not allow yourself a few carbs a week as treats....just count them. I find that I fail when I limit all the things I like, so started to have one or two "treats" a week. The heat is a deterent here too as well when it comes to exercise. It will get better....

  3. It's okay to have a downer post and to feel down. It's part of the deal. We all have to go through such times. Perhaps it is of our own doing - that's what sitting in the feelings and figuring it all out is for. But make no apologizes for you being honest about how your feeling. Everyday cannot be peaches and hamburgers, as we say in my family.

    I hope your return to structure shakes out the funk a bit. I know it does for me. And sometimes it helps me to find something, anything, to look forward to. Perhaps you need to travel north? :-)

    Hugs to you, Tena. I hope you find a path out of your discontent.

  4. *HUGS*

    I think its the horrible weather and the bla's!

    I know you can keep going. I totally believe in you :)

  5. I'm so sorry you're struggling! Between the heat and the hormones and the everyday life struggles, it's impossible to keep a chipper attitude every minute. The best thing we can do is acknowledge it, explore it, and try to hang on until the day life doesn't hurt so much. If there's anything I can do, please sing out! I'll be thinking about you!

  6. How are you doing???? I hope that getting back to work was enough to shake you out of your duldrums.

    I sometimes pull out the pity party for myself, sick at the time and energy and thought that it takes to be healthy. But then I look at the alternative.......ohhh yeah, that makes the choice a whole lot easier. I chose health!

    Keep your chin up!

  7. Sorry to hear that you are down at the moment. When I was reading your post I thought, hey, is this me??? I've been on holidays too and I've literally ate and ate...why should one look forward to going back to work??? For the structure, right? Blah! Check out my blog and you'll see our similarities -

    Good luck...things are looking up.