Thursday, September 24, 2009

Emotional Wreck

Warning:  This is not a feel-good post.

My Wordless Wednesday yesterday must have been an indication of how I'd feel by the end of the day.


I give much and ask for little. I never say no and accept that as a fault.
Why do I have to be made to feel afraid?
Afraid that my security is in question.
I do my job. Why isn't that good enough.

I feel alone and yet want to be alone.
I think I've said enough and still there's more to say.

There will be no more enjoyment at work thanks to the authoritarian boss. No more checking my email and reading the happy thoughts of others at lunch or during breaks. Apparently, I've done a bad, bad thing. I've multi-tasked and been creative and efficient, and that is not allowed. Never mind that I don't chit-chat and waste time gossiping with the secretarial sludge.

I hate my job today, and I've hated it all my life. Don't make the mistake of making a career out of a job you hate, even if you're good at it.


  1. Oh, hon, I am feeling so bad for you. Hating your job sucks.

    I get the impression that you got in trouble for using the internet for other than "real business" ...well, I can commiserate. Same thing goes for us where I work, maybe not quite so strictly but they are constantly telling us to only do "real business" on the internet.

    I'm sending major hugs your way...hope things look better tomorrow.

  2. I can relate as well. My company tries to threaten big brother on us all and for awhile even had us logging in inorder to get access to explorer. I have felt threatened and angry for the annoyance. Productivity doors go both ways.

  3. Don't make the mistake of making a career out of a job you hate, even if you're good at it. <~~~~ This is EXCELLENT advice. But I'm sorry that your job is so sucky. We spend so much time at work, and I know it's horrible when that part of our life is out of whack. And isn't it amazing how much havoc and bad will one boss can create? Hang in there.

  4. Hi there, I'm a new reader of your blog. Job satisfaction in my opinion is very crucial. There is no point hanging on if you hate your job. I once had a boss who keeps threatening me. It was terrible working for him and eventually I left the company. I know it could be quite difficult finding the suitable job. I wish you good luck!

  5. Oh, Tena. Sending good thoughts your way. Please don't take this personally - it's more about the boss than it is about you. Obviously they aren't recognizing all the fab things that you do. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

  6. :( Tena,
    I have had a lot (an artist) of jobs, I think 20 or so at last count, and have had two really great bosses. That doesn't sound like a reasonable ratio to me. I can understand why *assholes* "run the world" (for the most part) but it sucks for those of who are not. That is why I stay home and just scrape by, it has more downs too. My cat can be a real ball buster. hah.
    Are there any great things about where you work? Are there any options within there to move around a bit? Perhaps you should get a little bit pushy and push your strengths into their faces.
    Maybe a career change is something you can start looking at and thinking about.
    Hard one to know what to respond. Just don't underestimate your value or take these negative feelings out on yourself...
    hugs and kisses

  7. Oh Tena,
    I'm sorry you've been made to feel as if you are 'less than".
    I don't know what to say other than I'm on your side and agree with your self-assessment ... you are an employer's dream with all of your excellent attributes that you bring to the workplace.
    Keep your head up and remember we all love you!
    I agree with everyone here ... I'm sorry this happened to you.

  8. Honest Scrap Award for you!
    Love you!

  9. I'm sorry you feel this way. Honestly? I do too most days. Feeling afraid because that's the way the boss wants me to feel seems very wrong, but not uncommon. For the most part I can deal, but it's when the rules and policies are different for the bosses than they are for the underlings that gets me.

    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

  10. (((hugs)))

    I hope you will be feeling better soon and your inner strength gets you through this.

  11. Why is the concept of a happy employee being a productive employee not embraced in this new age? I feel so bad for those that are treated badly for no real reason other than the boss wanting to express his/her superiority. Just makes no sense to me.

    I am so sorry that you're experiencing this lack of civility where you work. Hopefully, things will change. I'll hold good thoughts for you.