Thursday, June 11, 2009

Happier State of Mind

Today I feel soooo much better emotionally. I want to thank all of you that left me comments on yesterday's dreary post. Your words of support and encouragement where spot on! I'm going to read and re-read your comments! You are some very special people and I'm blessed to know you.

June 1st, when I got back on the wagon (so to speak), I had gained 8 lbs so my weight was back up to 262. As of today, I've lost 5.4 lbs of the eight that I gained back. I'm really glad about that, but I'm disappointed in myself that I allowed myself to gain that much. At least I'm going in the right direction now and hope that by this Monday, I can see a few more pounds gone.

This gain is part of what set me off yesterday, I think. I felt guilty that I'd gained and mad that I let it happen, again. I consoled myself about the gain for awhile by thinking "look how long it took to gain those 8 lbs!" What kind of thinking is that? That isn't anything to be glad about. I shouldn't have allowed one single pound to creep back on.

In April I pretty much quit logging my food and counting calories. I was keeping a mental record (at least, that's what I did for awhile). So from April to June I gained back 8 lbs. In my mind I think I just felt like I'll never really get to my goal. That this is too much like work. Not only do I have to track every bite I put in my mouth, but I have to exercise, too? Yeah, this is work.

Then today I read those wonderful comments and suddenly I felt like I am worth the work. That I need to look at it as a labor of love. That I need to have some time and space for me. And that I need to stop putting off doing the things I want to do just because I'm not "thin" yet.

So I got back on the bike today and I didn't cry. It was a good ride and I felt good afterwards. Thanks again, you guys, for lifting me up! I appreciate it!


  1. So glad you feel better today. :-) Your happiness is catching. Keep it up!

  2. I knew you'd find that old mojo again! Well done on losing those extra pounds so quickly!

  3. So glad you are feeling better.

    In your honor, after I run my errands today, I'm carving out some me time and I am going to the Kimball. There is an exhibition of Italian works that ends on Sunday. I don't have time to arrange for someone to go with me, so I am going alone.

    I will soak up all the beauty of the precious works and I might learn something in the process. I will be reminded of my trip to Italy and I will nurture my inner-self by surrounding it with things of beauty, if only for an hour or so.

    Have a wonderful weekend. You are doing great!

  4. Glad you are doing better! Putting yourself and your health first is what helps to keep you on track.

  5. Sometimes you just have to let it out! I am so glad you are feeling better.

    Tena, do you have mini-goals? Considering my results this week, I am the last person to be giving advise, but I am going to anyhow! :-) You said you felt like you would never reach your goal, so maybe mini-goals would help. (I am just going after one pound at a time, and hoping that the slower weight loss will translate in to permanent weight loss.)

    And FYI, **You** are the blessing!

  6. You're definitely worth the work. Keep on keeping on.

  7. Tena - Tena - hugs for Tena. I missed your last post, but read it now. I'm very happy to read you're back on the bike and feeling better. ;)

  8. I'm so glad you're feeling more positive today! I also have felt the way you described in your prior post . . . as Lyn said, this journey can be very emotional. One day at a time . . . you are most definitely worth the work.

  9. Yay! For you and your support network.
    Have a good weekend. Good luck Monday.

  10. Certainly glad to hear you're doing better today. Dropping 5+ pounds has to help a little, I'd think. The results are bound to begin showing now. Keep up the work you've now re-begun.