Thursday, June 11, 2009

Happier State of Mind


Today I feel soooo much better emotionally. I want to thank all of you that left me comments on yesterday's dreary post. Your words of support and encouragement where spot on! I'm going to read and re-read your comments! You are some very special people and I'm blessed to know you.

June 1st, when I got back on the wagon (so to speak), I had gained 8 lbs so my weight was back up to 262. As of today, I've lost 5.4 lbs of the eight that I gained back. I'm really glad about that, but I'm disappointed in myself that I allowed myself to gain that much. At least I'm going in the right direction now and hope that by this Monday, I can see a few more pounds gone.

This gain is part of what set me off yesterday, I think. I felt guilty that I'd gained and mad that I let it happen, again. I consoled myself about the gain for awhile by thinking "look how long it took to gain those 8 lbs!" What kind of thinking is that? That isn't anything to be glad about. I shouldn't have allowed one single pound to creep back on.

In April I pretty much quit logging my food and counting calories. I was keeping a mental record (at least, that's what I did for awhile). So from April to June I gained back 8 lbs. In my mind I think I just felt like I'll never really get to my goal. That this is too much like work. Not only do I have to track every bite I put in my mouth, but I have to exercise, too? Yeah, this is work.

Then today I read those wonderful comments and suddenly I felt like I am worth the work. That I need to look at it as a labor of love. That I need to have some time and space for me. And that I need to stop putting off doing the things I want to do just because I'm not "thin" yet.

So I got back on the bike today and I didn't cry. It was a good ride and I felt good afterwards. Thanks again, you guys, for lifting me up! I appreciate it!

10 comments:

  1. So glad you feel better today. :-) Your happiness is catching. Keep it up!

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  2. I knew you'd find that old mojo again! Well done on losing those extra pounds so quickly!

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  3. So glad you are feeling better.

    In your honor, after I run my errands today, I'm carving out some me time and I am going to the Kimball. There is an exhibition of Italian works that ends on Sunday. I don't have time to arrange for someone to go with me, so I am going alone.

    I will soak up all the beauty of the precious works and I might learn something in the process. I will be reminded of my trip to Italy and I will nurture my inner-self by surrounding it with things of beauty, if only for an hour or so.

    Have a wonderful weekend. You are doing great!

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  4. Glad you are doing better! Putting yourself and your health first is what helps to keep you on track.

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  5. Sometimes you just have to let it out! I am so glad you are feeling better.

    Tena, do you have mini-goals? Considering my results this week, I am the last person to be giving advise, but I am going to anyhow! :-) You said you felt like you would never reach your goal, so maybe mini-goals would help. (I am just going after one pound at a time, and hoping that the slower weight loss will translate in to permanent weight loss.)

    And FYI, **You** are the blessing!

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  6. You're definitely worth the work. Keep on keeping on.

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  7. Tena - Tena - hugs for Tena. I missed your last post, but read it now. I'm very happy to read you're back on the bike and feeling better. ;)

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  8. I'm so glad you're feeling more positive today! I also have felt the way you described in your prior post . . . as Lyn said, this journey can be very emotional. One day at a time . . . you are most definitely worth the work.

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  9. Yay! For you and your support network.
    Have a good weekend. Good luck Monday.
    Andrea

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  10. Certainly glad to hear you're doing better today. Dropping 5+ pounds has to help a little, I'd think. The results are bound to begin showing now. Keep up the work you've now re-begun.

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