Monday, March 30, 2009

Just Don't Buy 'Em

Last week I felt like my hormones were trying to screw with me. Like taking away my patience and giving me uncontrollable cravings for sweets and bread. Gaahhh. I hate that. Enough already with the hormones. At my age shouldn't it all just come to a halt?

Anyway, while at the store on Friday, I bought a bag of iced animal cookies. Yep. I bought them thinking "just a few will be all I'll want and then I'll pass the bag onto someone else." Yeah, right. That bag is history. Dang. If I just hadn't bought them. Who knew they would taste like nectar from the sugar-gods. I could feel my joints getting stiffer with every bite. (I know, in the pic they aren't iced, that's cause I ate them all!)

The only saving grace for me was that I did ride my bike this weekend. I love my bike and I like to think she loves me. :) I think of her like a trusty steed waiting for her ride everyday. She needs her exercise, too, ya know. (Is that weird? Who cares!)

Happy Monday, folks! Hope your week is full of goodness. Drink lots of water and try a new veggie!

ps - Thanks for all the nice comments about my picture yesterday. I will be sharing more!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Dream Big

I have a dream. I have a dream that one day, I sell most of my things, pack a light bag and my camera, and start a new life. One that involves seeing places and the people in them and capturing it all on film. I dream of being a photographer that travels from place to place, experiencing life in all it's glory. Telling stories with what I see through the lens.

Some day. I've said that a lot about losing weight. Some day I'll be able to do this or that. Some day when I'm thinner. Now, I'm older and some day needs to hurry up. I need to hurry up and make some day happen. I can make it happen. I will make it happen. Even when a bump in the road slows things down. I'm going to have faith in myself that I will not give up.
There are a lot of reasons I give myself for not having lived the life I dream about. It's not practical. I'm not good enough. It's dangerous to travel alone. I can't just up and leave my family. I've used similar reasons (excuses) that keep me from losing weight, too. Who am I kidding? I'll never be thin. It's too much work. I'll just gain it back.

One thing I'm learning from reading what goes on in the hearts and minds of some of you awesome bloggers out there is that we can change our lives. We can take back control of our life from the things that have gotten their grip on us. Finding motivation is tough sometimes but we have to find it. Everyday we need to tell ourselves we are worth the work it will take to get us that dream we have. At work we give our best and all we get is a paycheck. This is our life I'm talking about. We need to make the same investment in ourselves that we make in our jobs.

We are strong and determined men and women who deserve the life we dream about. Work for it and never give up!

***exit stage right***

(Where in the world did all that come from? This was going to be a quick short post. Anyway.)

Hope your weekend is going like you want it. Don't forget to drink your water! Seriously.

~the picture is one I took while in Eze, France several years ago.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Swimming in Stress

It's a good thing that stress comes in waves at my job. I used to work for a hospice organization and after 8 years, the stress finally was too much. My job now has stress, but it only lasts a short time, say, a month or two weeks at a time. I can deal with stress better when I know the end is near! lol

Right now, though, I'm freakin' stressed. I'm in charge of coordinating 120 students that will attend an arts festival next week. My boss likes to double check everything I do, so not only do I drive myself nuts with details, she gets her foot in there, too. Sometimes I'm glad she double checks cause I'm not perfect and things do slip by me. :)

I think there might be a little pms in the air, too, which is not good considering next weeks event. I need to work on breathing in and breathing out! Today I was craving sweets like crazy. I chose to have some little chocolate covered donuts that come in a package. They were really good, and I don't feel that guilty about it. Hmmm. That's a first! Usually I'm all about the guilt and then to prove what a failure I am, I go and eat something else equally disgusting. Ya know, I don't think I will this time! Whadaya know, maybe I'm making progress in the food relationship thing. Food is not good or bad. How much I eat and how much I move or don't move is what makes my choices good or bad. Right?!

We had a big rain storm move through Houston today complete with lightening and thunder. No riding today since it looks ominous out there. I'll take tonight off and get to bed early.

Have a great evening. Don't forget to add some veggies to your plate.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Get to work!

Sunday was good for my last day of break. I finished taking down some lighthouse decals that I had used as a border in my kitchen. I was really sick of them and I'll never get into a "theme" mode again, I swear. My mom cooked some of Mizfit's Mishmashed Almost 'Cakes (scroll down her post for the recipe). She loves the recipe and loves the Miz' wit! If you haven't tried the recipe, give it a whirl (you'll get it when you see how they're made, lol). We also made some nice roasted veggies for dinner. Overall, the week was a welcomed bit of time off.

Monday was crazy with a capital K. My boss didn't even ask how my break was, she jumped in with orders and questions well before 8 am. Geez. Get a life, woman. I got it all under control. :)

Anyway, I rode on Monday, but Tuesday my back was having some spasms in the low back area. I get that sometimes when I'm a) pms'ing, b) tired, c) done too much around the house stuff. I'm not sure about "a" but the other two are for sure to blame. I took some meds and I'll be fine tomorrow. This is what happens when you let your core get flabby. Listen up, girls, work your core!! Can you tell I just finished watching Biggest Loser?!

Carla of Mizfit, had a great Tuesday post. It got me to thinking that I need to relax and listen to my body a little more instead of obsess over every bite. As long as I'm giving it my all, I'm sure my body will reward me.

Work your core, get plenty of rest...wait for it...not yet...
Drink that water!!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Shopping (in my garage!)

I'm dreading Monday, already. Back to work after a week off is hard to face. Oh, well, I'm just so grateful for having a week off! I got a few things done, not everything I had on my list but I don't care. Those things I don't stress about.

I planted some azalea bushes today in the front. There was an ugly bare spot that needed some life and now it looks much better. It was hot today but it felt good to be out there digging in the dirt. I love dirt! I love being outside, well, right now anyway. When it's August and September and the humidity makes me a sweaty mess and the skeeters are swarming let's just say I won't be outside as much.

Like many dieters, I have bins of clothing in a variety of sizes stored away in my garage. Sizes that range from 24 down to 14. I've been keeping my smaller sizes in hopes that someday I'll wear them again. The larger sizes I need to give away but I'm afraid to since I've lost and gained in the past. A few years ago I lost a good amount of weight and was wearing size L and some 14/16's. I had to buy some new things and got some really cute skirts and pants and tops that I can't wait to wear again. When I got those new things in the smaller sizes I gave away my fat clothes. Who knew I'd need them again? In just a matter of months I had to go shopping for fat clothes. Gahh! Why did I gain the weight back? Why? That is the question we all want the answer to, isn't it?

Yesterday I got some of the bins out and found a few size 20's and 1-2x's that fit nice. Yay! I needed some new shirts to wear to work since it's gotten warmer. I love not having to go shopping right now. It's kind of a deal I've made with myself this time. I will get rid of my fat clothes when I get to my size 14/16's that are in the garage. I don't intend to gain any weight back this time and please, God willing, I won't. The last time I lost I think it was for all the wrong reasons. This time I just want to feel good and be healthy and fit.

This morning I stepped on the scale and it said 254.8! That means I've lost 1.4 lbs since last Friday. A pound at a time is hard to take but I'll take it!

Here are my little Azalea's I planted today. Aren't they cute?! Yep, there small, but they'll grow!

Enjoy your day and have a great week! If I haven't said it lately, you guys are great! I've been slacking in leaving comments on some of your blogs but I'm reading them and enjoying every word!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Free-for-all bloat

After my free-for-all at Central Market yesterday, I got on the scale this morning and I'm up a pound. My last weigh-in was 255.2 lbs, just .2 of a pound away from the 30 lb mark! Dang! I knew I should have waited until tomorrow to weigh so I could give my system a chance to recover from all the junk I ate yesterday. Even with riding 10 miles I gained.

This is why they say not weigh yourself every freakin' day. It just sets you up for disappointment and makes you obsessed with the number. I feel thinner today, not heavier. I didn't drink all my water yesterday (I know?! And I'm always pushing the stuff!) so that may have added to the bloat. And that's what I think this is, water retention, cause I know I didn't eat that much while going through the store.

Anyway, enough about that. I watched Australia last night and swooned over Hugh the whole 2 hours and 45 minutes. I liked the movie, and even though some parts were hokey and pokey, it is a "feel good" piece of work. The photography was awesome, the cultural tidbits were interesting, and Hugh was sexy. What more could a girl want?

Today, I think I'll watch my carbs, eat my veggies, and drink lots of water. Knitting sounds like a good idea, too.

Have a great day and stay hydrated!

Time Flies

I'm enjoying the heck out of being off this week! Here I am doing what I usually do...stay up too late! I'm writing this at 2 am which is no surprise. I love to stay up late. I enjoy the peacefulness of night-time and no matter how tired I might be, I have to make myself go to bed.

So far, on my list of things to do this week, I've changed the ceiling fan pull gizmo, gone to Central Market, gone biking every day since Sunday, and planted some nice plants in my little backyard garden.

The ceiling fan thing was more complicated (naturally) than I expected so right now I disconnected it. That makes my mom happy, she doesn't like the fan on that much. She had pulled the chain right out and then we couldn't turn it off and that's why I had to change the thing in the first place. So for now, that job is off my list but I don't feel like it is complete. Oh, well, I'll get to it on a weekend.

Central Market today was like the most fun ever! I love that store for all the sampling and interesting items. I ate bread, and had coffee, and sampled a few pieces of candy (shhhh! don't tell anybody but how can you not try a few from the bulk goodies area?) We bought a lot of fruit and veggies so I came home and roasted some eggplant with onions and some broccoli. Had it with a wonderful chicken (or as Roxie calls it - $2 chicken). Simple and good, that's what I like.

Monday, I planted some tomatoes and three different kinds of peppers and some flowers in the backyard. Gardening is so relaxing and getting my hands in the dirt just feels good. Now if I can just keep the snails away!

I rode my bike for 10 miles today! After going to Central Market and sampling the goodies I felt like I needed to put in some extra mileage. My rear end wasn't even that sore! The weather was so great today, close to 80 and very little wind. I'm so thankful that the rain has stopped for now.

Well, I'm trying to keep up with you all but time flies so fast when I'm home. Diet-wise, I'm doing great but I just realized I haven't been posting my weight. I'll weigh tomorrow and see what it says.

I hope the weather is nice where you are and you have a chance to enjoy it. Drink your water and eat those veggies!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

What are you doing for Spring Break?

I work at a private school for mostly privileged kids. They spend their Spring Break in some pretty exotic locations. That's great for them, and as bad as I hate to admit it, I guess I get a little jealous. I would love to be able to jet off to some place like Greece and spend the week looking at gorgeous men and relaxing by the sea. But I digress!

My break will be spent here at home doing some around the house handy-man chores and working in the yard, which I love doing by the way. Maybe a little shopping and cleaning out the clutter. When you work all week and try to fit in exercise and healthy eating it's hard to fit in the handy-man stuff. So this week I'm planning to get these things done:

1. Change the fan pull in a ceiling fan
2. Re-grout the tub
3. Plan some menus for the week
4. Put pictures in some frames that have been sitting around empty
5. Ride my bike everyday
6. Go through my books and donate what I don't want
7. Go to Central Market and cruise the healthy foods for inspiration
8. Go to Ikea (love this store)
9. Watch movies
10. Finish knitting a baby blanket (I started a year ago)

We'll see how much really gets done. Time flies when you're home and some days just being home is good enough. If I was wealthy and didn't have to work I don't think I'd ever get bored.

Last night we had a delicious meal from the Clean Eating magazine that is looking pretty beat up about now. We have made almost every recipe in that thing and they never disappoint us! The Lemon-Artichoke Chicken and Roasted Zucchini Fries on page 53 of the Jan/Feb 2009 issue is fantastic! Lemony goodness! We will be having that dish often.

No riding yesterday due to the wet nastiness we're having along with 40 something degrees (F) weather temps. I did the Wii Fit for some fun exercise but miss the riding. It's the only thing that makes me feel good. Walking and stepping makes my knee very unhappy.

Have a great weekend everyone! Eat your veggies and drink that water!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

No Damage.

The funk has lifted. I felt so depressed and down today and can't put my finger on why, exactly. I try very hard to be positive and look at things in a clear and present light. But when my mood sinks, I get really hard on myself. Thank you all for the great comments and support. I thank you from my heart for helping me to dry my tears and straighten myself up!

And you want to know the best part? I didn't binge! I left work at lunch fully intending to get something to pig out on. I went to Randall's (like Safeway) and cruised the aisles looking for that just right food item that would take away my blues. But the more I walked around the more I realized that nothing was "calling out" to me. I picked up a bag of pita chips and thought "yeah, these will be great to nash my teeth into." I put them back. I even thought a loaf of bread would be perfect. I went to the bakery section and felt sick to my stomach. I'll be damned if I didn't just get a turkey wrap made on flatout bread and some soy crisps and a diet lemonade!

I came home and rode my bike. The weather was perfect for a ride - not too windy and nice and cool. I felt the blues leaving me as I rode around my neighborhood. It was like therapy, only cheaper!

Thank you again, you bloggers, you friends! I am thankful that today I was able to pull it together and not have to pick up the pieces.

Moody Blues

I feel like crying today. I don't even know why. Sad and moody. I have nothing bright and cheery here today folks. Sorry.

I feel stifled and stuck. Bored and tired. Wish I could go home and just veg out.

Maybe I need...don't know what I need. Work is so damn boring. It gives me only a paycheck.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Eating is not...cont'd

In my last post I talked about how eating on the weekend has been a free-for-all for me for most of my life. For some reason I always think that when the weekend rolls around it is time to take a "mini-vacation" from eating right and indulge in eating wrong from Friday night until Sunday night.

I've been pondering my own post since Saturday and it's really got me thinking. Roxie, over at gravel_and_rust, has some good views on the subject so go on over and read her "Weekend Warrior" post. She's listed some great things that keep her from making unhealthy choices during the less structured weekend hours. Love it, Roxie!

When I think about it, there are probably many reasons why food became so important to me on the weekend. My dad had my brother and me every other weekend and we got to choose where we got to eat out. He was living in a hotel when they first divorced so he couldn't cook anything. We would hit IHOP for breakfast and then Burger King for lunch. Dinner was along the same lines. It was a fun time and we spent good time together - over food. At home we couldn't afford to eat out so going to see dad on his weekends was a real treat.

We all have our stuff, don't we? It really doesn't matter "why" my head thinks the weekend should be a food party. It matters that I want to change how my head thinks about food. It is not a reward. It is a means to meet my vital needs. That doesn't mean it can't taste good or be something to look forward to enjoying, it just means it should not be used to fill some other need.

I will be working on my own plan of action to change my mind about weekend eating. I like Roxie's list and some of the ideas you guys have shared. Y'all are the best!

Make sure your vital needs are being met! Drink your water and get some sunshine. Oh, and welcome Spring!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Eating is not a reward!

Like most people I work Monday through Friday with weekends off. I know, some of you don't have the same schedule as me but we all have our days off, right? Well, for most of my working life, I view the weekend as a time for fun, entertainment, socializing with friends, and eating. Now that I'm older the focus is mostly on eating with visions of mexican food, chips and salsa, and Dove bars.

During the week I have this mindset of eating healthy and following the plan I've chosen to lose weight and usually, I don't feel tempted. But by Friday evening I start thinking about eating something "special" or "fattening." Like I owe it to myself to have something special since I've worked so hard or I've cleaned house. I've earned the right to go out or order in or buy something non-diet by gosh and I'm hell-bent on making sure I get what I deserve! I reward myself for eating healthy all week by eating unhealthy foods on the weekend. There is something terribly wrong with how my brain thinks about this!

Last weekend I decided to have a food fest to shock my system?! What the crap kind of thinking was that? I loaded up on salty and fatty foods (Tex-Mex, cookies, candy, popcorn, etc.) and came away gaining almost 4 lbs. Oh, yeah, it was such a nice reward!

You might say that this week I had an "Aha!" moment. It occurred to me that my thinking is really screwed up if by rewarding myself I'm actually sabotaging my efforts at losing this weight! Profound, ain't it?! Rocket science should have been one of my goals for sure! I've spent this week taking off the pounds that my reward last weekend cost me.

I'm going to learn from this and move on. My weekend eating needs to be as healthy as my weekday eating. My reward system needs a serious makeover. I don't have any extra money so I need to come up with rewards that are not costly and not food. Please, please, please share any ideas or ways you reward yourself that don't involve food. I need some help retraining my brain to not look at food as a reward.

Have a good weekend and if the weather is good to you, ride, walk, or jog outside! Eat your veggies and don't forget to put your clock ahead one hour!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Yep, that's Texas weather for ya!

81 degrees, folks. Yeah, you heard right. It was 81 degrees in H town today. I seem to remember one year it snowed here in March?! This seems unseasonably warm, even for big T.

I rode today and it was so pleasant. Sorry, I know it sounds like I'm gloating about the weather when some of you are freezing your bazookas off. If we are having this kind of weather now, what will the summer hold? Me, complaining about the heat and threatening to move to Alaska, that's what!

Confession time. Today I bought one of those little bags of Russell Stover Sugar Free Pecan Carmel candies. Two servings in the bag at 190 cals a pop. I ate them all. They tasted really good, too. But I did ride for 32 minutes so basically it was "burn after eating."

Tomorrow, Scarlett. Get some sleep and drink that water!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Monday, I woke up when the alarm went off as usual, and began getting ready for work. At first I just sat on the bed and thought about it. I didn't really want to go. I had the same attitude about dieting this weekend. I just really didn't want to, so I didn't. I ate Tex-Mex, popcorn (a whole bag), some random candy, and bread. No bike riding this weekend either.

There is a feeling restlessness in me right now. It comes around every now and then. I don't really know how to describe it. It's like I feel like I'm in the wrong place. Like there is something else I should be doing. I think I'm bored with work, work, diet, diet.

Someone told me today that I looked like I've lost some weight. =) Now, I'm losing weight for myself and to be healthy, but I have to admit that hearing this brief little statement made me feel really good. Made me want to make good food choices and ride my bike when I get home. Why do I have to hear it from some one else? Why do I need that compliment? I don't know but I really appreciate it. Thanks for noticing!

Hope you have a good evening. I'm going to watch Biggest Loser and hope no more men cry. Don't forget to drink your water.