Hello, My Name Is...

sugar addict. I really didn't want to post this but I'm trying to be real here, unashamed to admit my downfalls and exuberant to share my successes. This week has not been a good one for me in regards to food. After Monday, my eat-clean diet took a dumpster dive! I totally caved. Damn, I hate that I still have to fight with myself about food choices.

I was given some fudge last week and I put it in my drawer intending to take it home and give it to my family. I found it Tuesday and, well let's just say, it was good. Really frickin good. Then yesterday we had our office lunch party. It's with all of us in the business office and secretarial areas. Someone plans it each year and brings a dessert and we all do the White Elephant gift exchange game. The person that planned it this year ordered from an Italian place so we had salad, which was good, and pasta. Three different kinds of pasta. I was okay with that. I had a lot of salad and a small serving of the spinach lasagne and one piece of garlic bread. Then I had dessert. It was some kind of whipped cream pudding cookie crap and I ate it.

I have been spiraling out of control ever since. I have had cookies and candy. I feel like crap, too. I've been very sleepy today and groggy. Like in a stupor. I am disgusted with myself because I could not just walk away from the temptation. My first thought is that there is no hope for me in the future. I mean, even if I can get most of this weight off me, will I be able to look at candy and cookies and not want to consume six peoples share?!!

I am getting a grip because I don't want to undo what I have done since Dec. 1st. I am sick and tired of losing and gaining the same pounds. I read your blogs and you are all doing so well. I am proud of how so many of you are sticking to your plan. I will keep reading and working on getting the sugar out of my diet. Thanks to all of you, too, for the great support you send out everyday!