Sometimes I'm so pathetic. Yesterday was Valentines Day and, as you know, my son's b-day. My mom made a choc cake w/choc icing. I thought one piece was do-able. I mean, I've been really in control for a few weeks now and I talked myself through it thinking, heh, no problem-o. Then my son gave me some dark chocolate covered cherries (my fave) and I lost it. Control, what control?!Why did I think I could have a taste? Why am I such a wuss? The cake wasn't even that good. I like a really heavy cake (juicy is what I call it) with glaze soaked into it. Not really a fan of icing but I ate it. I want more, too. The cake is on the bar by the kitchen within sight while I'm watching TV. Crap. I need the cake to sprout legs and leave.
My mom doesn't understand. She's not that crazy about cake so it doesn't bother her. She's not the problem, though, my sugar addiction is the problem. I guess it's too much to ask for me to not want cake and candy in the house. I'm supposed to be learning that life will go on without cake. Why couldn't she have just made a small cake. A few cupcakes. None of us needed a whole damn cake.
Okay, tomorrow I'll practice more avoidance behavior and stay away from the cake.
Aside from my cake issues, here are some pics of the great evening we had celebrating my boys birthday. In the pics are me, my boy, his girlfriend, and my mom. I think you can figure out who's who.
I'm with you, i just can't have a taste it just leads to a binge for me. It's like a light bulb comes on and i just can't turn it off!!
ReplyDeleteThat said, i know your going to have a great week now. It's done it's over with and you are in control.
I think you're doing amazingly well. I could not live with a chocolate cake in my house. It would need to find another home - pronto.
ReplyDeleteThat is difficult! You may have to lay down some boundaries and explain them to your mom... It's not always easy to get our team members on our side! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteMmmm! Cake is my downfall too! So are softie cookies. I just ate one and then I looked at the plater of the reast of 'em. I wanted another one. I had to put it away. Too tempting!
ReplyDeleteI don't know how you do it at all!! If I had a family that needed that stuff in the house I wouldn't have come this far. One of the perks of living alone. And those perks are few and far between :o)
ReplyDeleteGreat pictures. You can see there was a good time going on.
ReplyDeleteI have to at least put the evil stuff out of sight. You still know they are there but the visual is not driving it home.
I like your long hair!
ReplyDeleteThink of it as just one day and move on. I do the same thing and realize that I can't have any trigger foods in the house. If I'm celebrating something I'll make it, have a piece and then send it home to guests.
But, life is too short not to enjoy something like a chocolate covered cherry! Eventually the self control will take over and you'll be able to stop.
Hurrah for a new week :)
Don't beat yourself up over this. It's done; it's over. Just continue doing all the great things you've been doing.
ReplyDeleteIt's progress, not perfection and you've learned something from this. Don't waste time and energy dwelling on it. Move on, sister.
BTW - you and your family are lovely.
I agree with Lee - any chance of finding a new home for that cake? It's hard to have control, even around stuff you don't ordinarily like, when the sugar bugs are calling your name.
ReplyDeleteI am the same way. Sugar is a slippery slope for me.
ReplyDeleteWhy wait for the cake to sprout legs? (That might take a while.) Pack it up and send it to your boy's girlfriend's house. Or just throw it away. I know it's a waste, but so is all the time I'd spend deliberating over the thing.
I could not have that cake in my house... there are just some things you have to learn to live with out or you have to fight with ... and I'd rather not have mental battles with food the rest of my life.. so if its an issue/trigger food for me.. it just cant be in the house. If someone else brings it.. well.. that's a whole different issue.. and especially since it's coming from mom! Any chance you can send it off with your son or somewhere out of sight! Throwing it away is an option but then (if you are like me).. you have to deal with the guilt of throwing away perfectly good food (even if it isn't healthy)!!
ReplyDeleteHave a great week and good luck with the cake!
I (H)ate cake too! I had to laugh reading this.
ReplyDeleteThis weekend was my daughters birthday. I made cupcakes for her Valentine party and them a cake for her birthday. 4 cupcakes on Friday and 2 giant peice of cake on Sat. So good but not good for me.
you all are so adorable!!!!
ReplyDelete:D
Please don't beat yourself up - it's a biochemical imbalance, nothing more. I have so been there.
ReplyDeleteI came across this great program called Radiant Recovery which explained *why* I was unable to say no and how you can go about healing it. I'm just sugar sensitive, that's all. Why not check out the website - it's got loads of free information.
I used to binge all day long but now I eat just three meals a day and am now indifferent to sweet things. Unlike every other program I've started, results *are* typical.
All the best!